Looking Through Broken Glass
by DazingDreamer
Summary: One day in Wonderland, Alice abruptly realizes that she isn't "Alice". Distraught, the girl runs away & refuses to be involved. She takes a chance to forget Wonderland but with consequences. And yet Boris is determined to make things right.
1. A Starry Night

**A/N: **There's a lack in Boris stories that aren't oneshots. I think he deserves more attention... maybe. Now, this is a story that's been in my mind for a while, & it's been screaming at me lately to write it all out. This takes place after Heart, Clover, Joker, with a bit of the manga mixed in. Please let me know if the characters ever seem too OOC!

**Edit: **I actually went back to see how many stories there are of each character. It turns out Boris has about the second highest amount. Oops, my bad. However, I'll keep writing!

My first fanfic, so please enjoy!

**Pairing:** BorisxAlice with a twist. And by twist I mean there's OCs involved. Just to let you know.

Disclaimer: HnKnA is not owned by me

* * *

**Chapter 1**

It was a beautiful night, just like all of the others spent at the Amusement Park. Two teens were snuggled up against each other, gazing at the stars in the sky. The boy was peculiar. Dressed up in punk clothes, he had a shock of pink hair covering his left eye, pink and black attire with chains and piercings decorating him, and he swished his cat tail around him. His cat ears held several gold piercings. He tenderly looked down to see the blond girl he held in his arms, who had been staring at the sky in awe. She still hadn't been able to get used to the clear, deep blue sky, no matter how long she was there.

They had escaped the Amusement Park when the owner had whipped out his instrument of choice, the ukele, and both fled the grounds, holding their ears and blinded by the atrocity they had listened to for half a second. Eventually, they ended up far, far away from the park, much to their delight. The couple was exhausted and agreed to let the rest of the employees and visitors suffer instead. They already put up with it every moment of their lives, and they were in need of a break. It wasn't until the girl noticed the shooting stars that they had began star gazing.

The girl was dressed almost the exact opposite from the boy. Instead of punk clothes and the pink and black theme, she had on an apron dress -a white apron and a robin blue dress-, a blue bow perched on the top of her head, and black Mary Jane shoes. Quite a conservative style. The only similarity they had were the striped socks they wore. Hers were blue and white, while his were black and pink.

After a couple of minutes had passed in a comfortable silence, with the boy stroking her hair with one hand and holding her hand in other, the blond tilted her head up until she could see the pink haired youth behind her. They held each other's gaze for a second, and smiled. Nothing could break these two lovers apart. Lying on a grassy hill away from the noise of the Amusement Park, both could feel the emotions of the other. And at this moment, all was at peace.

The cat eared punk had turned the girl around in his lap, and he saw her teal eyes look back wonderingly at him. She giggled, and leaning forward, without any words, she gently kissed his lips with her own pink ones. She leaned back as fast as she had begun, blushing at her own forwardness. She usually wasn't the one to initiate a kiss. But at that moment, she wanted to take him by surprise. And so, the boy was smiling his sweet feline smile, also blushing.

They returned to their original positions, with her head against his chest and folded peacefully into his arms. The cat grinned. He took her ear in his mouth and began to nibble on it. She gave a small yelp, and her face grew red with embarrassment. She should be used to it, but every time he did it, she was glad that she wasn't out in public. She was always embarrassed with public display of affection. Especially with his cat-like tendencies. Not that she didn't like it. Squirming in his arms, the girl managed to smack his head playfully and snuggled back into his chest, this time covering her ears. Blissfully, the couple closed their eyes.

The girl couldn't hear anything but the breathing of her partner, and his chest ticking.

Rather than a heart, all of the inhabitants of the strange world she had tumbled into had clocks instead. After first hearing of this, the girl was afraid, but was able to quickly brush it off because she wasn't scared of the people without hearts; she was just afraid of the sound a clock made. But in time, she grew used to the sound, finding it comforting as time passed.

_Tick, tick, tick._

The girl smiled.

_Tick, tick, tick._

The boy breathed in deeply.

_Tick, tick, tick._

It was a hard choice for her. To decide on whether she wanted to stay in Wonderland, or return to her original world; the world that she was born into. But she stood her ground and decided to stay

where she found love.

_Tick, tick, tick._

Not that she wasn't ever homesick. There were always times where she'd spot something in a shop that she thought that her older sister would like. But she would only think of her, because it had felt like no one else back in the original world had wanted her.

_Tick, tick, tick._

She had gotten used her new world. Well, except for the fact that everyone had had weapons at their sides to whip out at any moment there was the slightest scuffle, and there was the occasional dead faceless citizen. But they couldn't help it, fighting was practically in their blood. She tried to teach them how precious life was, but they ignored her for the most part. But she couldn't help but notice that the rate of dead had gone down, just slightly. She smiled.

_Tick, tick, tick._

Since it was so quiet, she could have sworn that she heard her own heartbeat, with her blood pumping in and out of her heart.

_Tick, tick, tick._

Being a foreigner in this world meant having a heart. And being a foreigner also meant that everyone would fall in love with her. Some instantly, others as time went on.

_Tick, tick, tick._

And all because she was different. Not that she minded. Most of the time, at least. There were times when she felt out of place. Quite a lot, actually. But it was only because there were rules in Wonderland that she did not have at her old world, and she always needed to have things explained to her. Especially when they so-called "moved".

_Tick, tick, tick._

Now the sound started to sound ominous to the girl's ears. She ignored it.

_Tick, tick, tick._

It sounded like it was trying to make her realize something. _But what?_ she asked herself. _Was I supposed to do something? _She quickly rummaged through her memory, trying to figure out what she needed to do. Her own heartbeat sped up.

_Tick, tick, tick._

The boy felt her tense up in his arms. Stroking her hair, he tried to get her to relax. When that didn't work, he leaned forward so his face was buried in her hair.

_Tick, tick, tick._

She felt his mouth on the top of her head. She felt his lips open up, and murmur four words.

~.

_I love you, Alice._

_~._

* * *

Is it sappy? Yes. Or at least I tried. All with a good reason. It's not going to be all roses and hearts from here on out though.


	2. The Realization

**A/N: Thank you for reading! **I would love some honest feedback, so please let me know!

Disclaimer: Heart no Kuni no Alice is not mine.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

~.

_"I love you, Alice."_

_~._

As soon as he said those four words, the girl felt like the moon slammed into her head.

She was in pain.

Her body convulsed as she was being bombarded with images. She gasped for air, as if there was no oxygen in her lungs, and she spent hours under water. Worriedly, the guy had gotten to her front, trying to figure out what was wrong. He held her head, trying to get her to look in his golden eye to see what was the matter.

"_Alice, Alice! What happened? Are you okay?" _She heard the muffled voice through the sound of her own gasps. Unable to respond, she clutched at her chest, feeling like it would break.

Then came the realization.

_No._

It couldn't be true. It just couldn't be true. But she remembered _everything._ How she was so excited when she had returned home, to play the games, to read the manga. How she played this game three times in back home. _And _here in Wonderland.

"NO!"

This time, she had yelled it out loud, and roughly shoved the boy in front of her down.

The youth stared at her in shock. "Alice, wha-?" He murmured, eyes wide open and dilated. He had never seen her in such a state. She stood above him, arms at her sides, fists clenched. Trembling from head to toe, he wasn't sure if she was scared or angry. Her head faced down so that her long blond hair was shielding her face. He got to his feet, as nimble as the cat he was, and put his hands on her shoulders, only to be thrust away again.

"W-what did I do? I'm really sorry, but you don't have to get so upset," he trailed off, completely baffled by the girl in front of him. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair. She stayed silent. Taking another chance, he spoke again. "Alice, why are-?"

"SHUT UP!" she yelled, snapping her neck up to meet his eyes. They were furious and a bit wild, slightly out of focused. His own eyes widened; she was always so calm, but when she was angry, she always had a reason, and never raised her voice like this. This... this was different. He could feel the dangerous aura that she was emitting. She was absolutely livid.

"You... you don't love me," she muttered. Her eyes hadn't left his face.

Confused, he could only stare right back. After a couple of seconds, he slowly took a step closer to her, saying "What are you saying? Of course I love you! Why all of the sudden are you saying that I don't?"

She backed up. "You don't love me... you're only forced to love me because of the character I play!" she screamed at him, hands holding her head in frustration.

He quickly shook his head. "Love you because of the character you play? Well, of course I loved you first when you were the foreigner, but now I love you because you're you!"

"STOP! Just stop! I don't mean it like that! And stop saying you love me!" She continued to yell, her features contorted by the anger she felt. "I mean that I was just stuffed into this role! I'm not the one you're supposed to be in love with!"

The boy tried to shake off the feelings of distress. "What do you mean you're 'not the one I'm supposed to be in love with'? And 'stuffed in this role'? I know that Peter was the one who dropped you into the hole, but why are you getting so upset now?" He trailed off.

_This is so unlike her_, he thought._ In the beginning, when I told her I loved her, she just brushed it off, or said thanks and blushed, but she would always deny it. Logically, in her own way. But this? _he looked towards the blue eyed girl, readying herself for another outburst of anger. _This seems like she's another person._

"Wait!" the youth shouted, holding up his palms so that they faced her. "Can you just calm down? Just for one second, please!" He pleaded. "I don't like seeing you like this."

The blond merely scowled, and spat out, "That's because you've never seen the true me!" The punk feline let his hands drop to his sides.

"What do you mean, 'I've never seen the true you'?" He yelled at her, frustrated with the way she was acting. His tail whipped about him.

"Because I've only been playing the character all along!" She screamed, finally admitting what she had just realized. "I'm only playing the character of your precious-" here she air-quoted "_Alice_ that you seemed to love so much. Do you know why?" she sneered towards the cat eared boy. He shook his head silently, waiting for her answer.

"Because this isn't a dream. This is only a game," she said.

Confusion broke out out the feline's face. Not laughing, he slowly affirmed, "I know this is just a game. Everybody here knows that this is just a game. We've been this way since forever. We've known it since we were born. You know this. Our clocks are always being repaired when we die."

"I know that!" she yells, grabbing her hair. The girl tries to take deep breaths to calm herself down. "But that's not the game I'm talking about. The game I'm talking about is a video game. Or a computer game," she mumbles, half to herself. "And in that game, you place yourself as the foreigner, and guide her to fall in love with one of the Roleholders."

She glanced to see how he was taking this. The teenage boy stood with his mouth agape. It was quite a shock. She went on.

"And did you know that the first game was so popular that they made a second one? And a couple more after. In fact, it even produced a manga series out of it!" She grinned madly. Nothing could keep her calmed.

This whole time, she had been pacing back and forth, stopping when she needed emphasis. The girl whipped her head back towards the punk kid.

"Do you know what this means?" she asked the boy. Weakly, he shook his head. Nothing could stop her.

The girl took long strides to get to him. And on each one, she uttered a single word.

"You." One stride.

"Are." She got closer.

"A." He grew scared of the look on her face.

"Fictional." Only two feet away.

"CHARACTER!" She yelled, jabbing him in the chest on the last word. The golden eyed boy flinched away from her. He tried to say something but nothing came out. He looked at her with his sad eyes.

_It can't be true, can it? _he asked himself._ It's- it's impossible._ All the boy could feel was numbness gripping his body, swirling up his legs, wrapping him in its cold grasp.

"And since you're a fictional character," she snarled, "we all know what that means. It means that you don't exist! You're not real! And what's even better," she laughed hysterically, "that means that you don't really love me, because things that don't really exist can't love!" With that, she felt a liquid warmth sliding down her cheeks. She tried to get rid of by wiping it away, but to her horror, the liquid was her tears. Whether it was from the maniac laughter or the sudden realization, she couldn't figure it out. All that she knew was that nothing was real.

Of course, she had thought that everything was originally a dream, but she was fine with it, because it was _her_ dream. But to find out that what she had thought she dreamt was merely a mass produced item, fulfilling any girl's desires of a true (_but pathetic,_ she thought with a sneer) love. And to find out that was she thought was real in a dream-like way was based on a computer game - well, she couldn't take it.

The girl had been living a life that she did not have control over.

Never once taking away his eyes, the somber teen asked the girl he thought he loved one question. "I... don't love you?"

She laughed, a sound that was once music to his ears, but now threatening to tear his insides apart. "Of course you don't! How can that be? It's clearly impossible!" she swung her hands wildly. "And that means that this place doesn't exist! The Amusement Park doesn't exist, the clocks don't exist, even this ground I'm standing on doesn't exist!" She screams.

"But Alice," the boy finally whispered, diverting her thoughts.

"STOP IT!" the girl shrieked, pressing her hands to her hands. Her eyes were shut and her head was down, she yelled. "Stop calling me Alice! That isn't my name!" _This isn't even my body, _she screamed silently. "You don't even know me, so don't _act _like you think you do!" Her arms trembled, falling down from her head.

"But you..."

"I don't even come from the world you think that Alice came from!" she shouted at him. "My world is completely different from yours. It's completely different then what I was forced to tell you! I don't have a sister named Lorena, or a sister named Edith! Blood looks nothing like my ex because I've never even had a boyfriend! Now I have an imaginary one with cat ears and a tail!" She faced him again. "Face it! We're strangers! We don't know anything about each other." The girl had her hands on her hips, with a murderous glare.

"What do you mean, we don't know each other? You're you and I'm me! I've been the way I was all along!" Boris protested. His ears twitched.

"I don't know you because- what if you act differently for me? What if you would act differently because of who I really am? But really, it's all a joke. You can't act differently because you're part of that game!" She was closing in on hysteria.

"I don't know how you did it, but even for being a nonexistent _thing_," she said with a sneer, "you made me realize something." She gave him a dangerous stare.

"What?" the boy weakly asked, absolutely dejected. He wished he wasn't himself. He wanted things to be the way they were. But what if nothing was as it seemed? There's nothing then. What does it all mean? _I can't even think straight right now,_ Boris thought numbly. _There's nothing to anything._

_I have to say it,_ she thought. She took one step forward, while he took one step back. She licked her lips and smiled a terrible smile. She opened her mouth, ready to say four words, just like the boy had earlier.

~.

_I hate you, Boris._

_~._

* * *

**Gah, I felt terrible for writing this chapter. Poor Boris! **


	3. It's My Wish

**A/N: So I lied when I said there was a lack in Boris stories. Actually, I honestly didn't think there were as much stories as there are. I guess I underestimated the love for cats! But that's beside the point. I'll continue writing, and hope for the best.**

**However, yes, this is an OC story -_- I know, I dislike most OCs (there are some insanely good ones though), so I'm being a hypocrite with this story. My apologies. But I wanted to do something besides the self-insert-and-have-them-go-through-the-same-thing-as-Alice. So this is my twist on things. But of course, there's going to be another twist about that. *sigh* I love twisting. **

**Also, I'd like to thank those of you have been reading. It means a lot! & the reviews as well, thank you!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_~._

_"I hate you, Boris."_

_~._

With no emotion in her voice, she said it once more.

"I hate you, Boris."

She slowly stepped away, as if he were a disease. The girl took a deep breath and screamed as loud as she could.

.

"**I HATE YOU, BORIS**!"

.

She thrust away his arms that were reaching for her, turned around, and started running. She didn't see his eyes full of shock and hurt, and she didn't see him try to run after her. _He_ had always been the fast one, constantly catching up to her when she stomped away in one of her bad moods. He had always made her feel better.

But not this time. This time, she felt like she was flying. Her feet were barely touching the ground, and she escaped his grasp in a flash. He couldn't catch up to her. He couldn't comfort her. He couldn't say anything to make her come back.

Yet he continued to sprint after the girl, trying his hardest to keep up with her, to ask her what and how and why. Eventually, everything she had said caught up to him, and at last, he stopped running and he crumpled to the ground, looking upon the vanishing girl.

The girl had no idea where she was going. All she knew was she had to get away. Away from his voice, his smell, his everything. She ran in one direction, not caring that she was sprinting through the forest. Her feet trampled the leaf-strewn ground. The branches and leaves had whacked and slashed her body, but she didn't notice the pain from the scratches. All she could concentrate on was the emotional pain she felt.

It hurt more than the time she had fallen off her grandfather's roof and broke her leg. It hurt more than the time she swung from the highest tower of a jungle gym at a playground years ago and ended up with bark in her mouth and stitches along the side of her face. It hurt more than the time she went sledding and and crashed into a tree, ending up in the emergency room and with a concussion. It hurt her that he would never know these things about her, but it also hurt her to know that he wasn't real.

She felt another wave of tears coming, this time knowing they were out of grief. She wanted to get away from him, but now she wanted to get away from this make-believe world she had been living in. She kept on running, in hopes to escape it all. She had ignored her surroundings while fleeing, but gradually realized that they had changed.

Gone were the trees that had previously surrounded her. Gone was the unpredictable sky. Now all that surrounded her was the varying shades of green, purple, and blue that were so familiar to her from her dreams. But she continued to run, knowing that they were still part of the world she was trying to break away from. Even if it felt like she wasn't going anywhere.

She didn't want to hear Nightmare's voice, let alone have him read her mind.

Running, she could still see at the edge of her vision the light blond hair that wasn't hers. She tried to hold the sob coming up from her throat; she knew that she had the teal eyes that he fell in love with.

_No, _she shook her head, tears in her eye._ He doesn't even exist. He can't fall in love._ This wrenched another sob from her while she frantically tried to wipe away the tears. All of her emotions were pouring out of her.

She continued to run for as long as she could, running the hardest she has ever ran. Surprisingly, she hadn't even grew tired yet, like she she usually would. However, the girl didn't pay any attention to this. So absorbed in her thoughts, she almost didn't even notice that she no longer was in the multi-colored space.

Now she was in a black void of nothing. It went on for as far as she could see. Yet she could still see herself, alone, with nothing but darkness surrounding her. She couldn't keep it up. She needed to stop. Finally she fell over, holding her knees against her chest, weeping uncontrollably. Her dress piled up around her.

Hands on her face, she tried to wipe away the tears, but they kept on coming. She couldn't stop them. She was tired of running. Not that her legs ached, she just couldn't do anything anymore. She didn't know if she could go back home.

Why? Why her? She loved the game, but she never thought it would ... appear to her. If that's the way to describe it. She still didn't believe that it was real. How could it be? It's impossible. Things like this just don't happen to her. She didn't deserve this to happen, so this was a bit of a punishment. Like having a slice of the most delicious cake in the world placed in front of her when she was hungry, but being denied the ability to eat it. And it was even worse.

Why was that? Because she didn't even have control over her own body. She was conscious throughout everything, but it seemed like she was always in a fog, with her memories of her old world locked up in the back of her mind. All she knew was her life back in 'Alice's' world, until her own memories rushed back in.

_The truth hurts, doesn't it? _said a small voice inside her. She wanted to reply back, to admit that it did hurt her, in ways she never knew.

_I don't love him... I never loved him. Because this is all just a lie. He was a lie._ But she couldn't fight her true feelings. She tried to deny it, but she didn't want to admit that she loved him, real or not. Because throughout her-as-Alice's adventures in Wonderland, she fell for the Cheshire Cat.

Which meant that what she did back there was hysteria. The girl had panicked. She was too scared to let someone into her heart, especially one that didn't exist. Especially when he didn't know her at all. He didn't even know that the real her, the one who wasn't Alice, existed until she told him. But she knew he was in love with her-as-Alice. _But he isn't real! _she screamed at herself. She was furious with herself for getting into this situation.

"I hate him!" she repeated, trying to make herself believe it. If only she could. What a tragic, unrequited love. No matter what he said, it would still be one sided, she miserably believed. _He doesn't exist. He's only part of that game._

Repetitive thoughts kept going around in her mind, all denying anything good about him or Wonderland.

"I want to go home!" she wailed to no one. Her sobs punctuated her sentences. "I want to get away! I want to forget Wonderland!"

Sadly, she mumbled, "I want to forget _him._"

"_You want to forget everything, don't you?" _a deep voice asked her.

The blond girl lifted up her head from her arms, only to see no one was there. She hiccuped, tears streaming from her red eyes.

"Now I'm going crazy," she mumbled to herself. Wonderful. Just what she needed. Even better was the fact that she was talking to herself.

_Actually, I think I might be dead. What else could explain how I ended up here? Although I don't think this is supposed to happen. _She glanced around the expansive space.

_Then again, it's not like anyone could come back from the dead and say "Hey guys, I'm alive again, and this is what happens when you die..." _she trailed off in thought. _Oh no, I think I really am dead! I'm losing it. Maybe I ran to my death. What will everyone say? What happened to them? But if I'm going crazy, would it really matter? I hope they give my clothes to my friends. But I never got a chance to have a pet. I don't want anyone to worry. _Thoughts tumbled around her head, all disconnected and confused in her emotional mind.

She buried her head in her arms once more, quite aware that she had been held in a certain someone's arms earlier.

"NO! I don't want to remember!" She slapped her head, as if she could slap the memory of him right of her head. She could only wish.

"_You don't want to remember?"_ the voice asked again, this time amused.

_Do I want to remember? The fact that what I've been going through was just a lie, that it doesn't exist? That it's not just a dream, but just some kind of fake? _She thought about all that she had gone through._ No, not me. It was 'Alice'. Everything happened to her, but I have the memories, and I don't want them._

"No," she murmured, her hands slipping down.

"_Well then, I might just be able to help you," _the voice calmly said.

"Who are you, and where are you?" she asked, half blubbering, looking around for the source of her companion. He (for it sounded like a male) frightened her a little because she couldn't see him anywhere. She put a hand to her right eye, trying to clear her vision to see where the mysterious voice was coming from.

"_You won't be needing my name since you'll forget it after leaving. And the answer for your second question is that I'm all around you_." The girl stiffened, with her mind leaping from thought to thought.

"Are you... like Nightmare?" she winced in pain at mentioning the incubus, an inhabitant of a place she swore she would forget. "But I actually got to see him..."

"_Oh, I am nothing like that dream demon," _ the voice assured the girl, with a hint of malice that went unnoticed by her. "_Nothing to be tense about. However, I occupy this entire dimension. I am nowhere but everywhere," _the invisible companion explained.

_"Now, get a hold of yourself,"_ he ordered. He waited until her sobbing had quieted down to sniffling.

"_Even though I said I wouldn't give my name, you must be wondering _what_ I am. And that I can answer. I am the Wish-Giver," _the voice explained. "_And I can grant any wish anyone has. It's very logical. I suppose that you would like to wish something?"_ the Wish-Giver asked. The girl looked about, tears still rolling down her face. She nodded, and unsure if he could see her, she spoke out loud.

"Y-Yes."

"_Then I will grant your wish." _The voice took a pause_. "However, I want you to know that there will be some consequences. One is that you will not remember who I am and that I had granted your wish. Two is that your wish is irreversible. And three is that I will take something of yours but you will not know what it was." _The girl nodded at everything, until the last statement.

"Take something of mine? But, but, I don't have anything to give you!" _Nothing but what I have on me. Which are my clothes._ She looked about in shock.

"D-Don't take away my clothes! I mean, you can take away the apron, but you can't take away my dress!" The blond unsteadily got back onto her feet, concerned about the last part. She clutched onto the dress. The girl was quite modest, even if it meant receiving the wish she wanted- no, she _needed_.

The voice only chuckled. "_Don't worry, it won't be your clothes. And even if they were, I'd make sure that you'd wear another outfit," _ he said. The girl shifted uncomfortably from where she was standing.

"_Besides, you will not know what I took from you," _he said, reminding her of the consequences. She nodded. "_After hearing what will happen, do you still want to receive your wish?"_

The blond girl hesitated, just for one second, but with tears in her eye, she answered with a "Yes."

"_Okay. Now, you must wish with the words 'I wish' and continue on from there. Now, you may begin."_

She closed her eyes, the way she does whenever she wished, whether on a shooting star or on her birthday candles. But this time, it would actually come true.

"I wish... I wish that I can return to my world, and I return to my own body. And that I remember nothing of Alice's world and Wonderland, especially him! I wish to forget everything that's happened here!" she yelled, squeezing her eyes tightly. She clenched her fists. "And that nothing of that media ever reach me! Completely erasing their existence!"

She waited in silence for a minute, the tears drying on her face. The blond was anticipating on what's to come next. However, she could only hear silence, and felt nothing. Finally, she cracked an eye open, just a bit worried.

"Um, is anything special supposed to happen?" _Was this just another joke?_

The Wish-Giver responded back with, "_No, not particularly. But since there were so many parts to your wish, I had to create a potion myself. You have it now though,_" he added.

The girl felt the pocket of her dress sag. She reached into the dress, and pulled out a familiar glass vial with a heart shaped stopper.

Horrified, she asked him, "This? This potion? You made this? This is what that stupid pervert rabbit gave me," she gulped at the memory of 'how' he gave it to her, "and got me stuck in the mess!"

Hastily, the Wish-Giver replied, "_No, oh, no, it isn't the same one. I just said that I created it myself. It's nothing like what he gave. It just was convenient that what kept you here would also deliver you home and give you your wish."_

Listening to his explanation, she calmed down. At least, as much as she could in this state. She looked at the vial and asked the voice if she had to drink it. He answered, that yes, she was.

She kept her head down as she popped open the glass stopper. She sniffed at the contents, debating at last minute if she really wanted this.

But with a pain in her chest, she wanted to forget, to stop hurting. She took one last look at her panacea. The answer to all her problems. The girl stood up straighter, her shoulders pushed back. She was determined to forget it all. Tilting back her head, she lifted the vial up to her pink lips, and she let the liquid run out of the glass and down her throat. It was bittersweet, like she was taking a long, warm bath, but then jumped into freezing cold pool. Or more like summer and winter. She felt slightly light-headed as the effects slowly take a hold of her.

She had one last thought of her love, cat ears and all. Her anger was replaced by sadness, and she felt a small heartbroken smile go across her face. With a last burst of tears, she felt herself falling into oblivion. Closing her eyes, she felt the sensation embracing her._ Falling._

_Falling..._

_._

_._

_._

_Falling..._

_._

_._

_._

_Falling..._

_._

_._

_._

* * *

******And she's falling into yet another hole. Poor girl.**

****** Sorry about the excessive use of 'she'. I didn't want to use Alice or her real name yet.**

**The Wish-Giver huh? A very original name, I know. But I w****onder what he's going to take from her. Hm... what are your thoughts?**


	4. What A Mess Of Things

**A/N: Happy early Easter! Thank you again for reading, reviewing & alerting! It makes me happy, especially since this is my first fanfic. It means a lot to me.**

** I've been editing the heck out of this. I swear, I was going to end up burning a hole by editing it night & day. I appreciate any criticism at all, since it helps out a lot! Also, sorry about the constant rewriting of the summary. Nothing I come up with fits the story, so hopefully this is the one to stay.**

**Also, here is my pathetic attempt for explaining what happens to the world _outside _when the girl disappears. I realized after writing this that it sounded quite, well, stupid. I came up with other situations, but trust me, this is the least lame one. Unfortunately.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_What? How? Why?_

"_It's a lie!" you say. Is it? What's real then? I'm a lie? This world is a lie? Are you a lie too?_

_What's real?_

_I want you back._

_I'm sorry for whatever I did. Where did you go?_

_You hate me? Why?_

Thoughts ran through his mind as Boris numbly sat where he had crumbled to the ground. Surely this was a joke. A cruel kind of joke.

His ears laid flat against his head, his tail lying limp.

What did he do to deserve this? He was pretty sure he hadn't upset her lately with anything. Okay, so he ran off that one time when he smelled Pierce sneaking through the Amusement Park, hiding in between the go carts, but he did tell her that he would be back. It just took him two timezones to find Alice again.

And okay, maybe she did try to give him a silent treatment, but that didn't last very long. It really wasn't that big of a deal. He thought it might have been because of his cat charm, but he really hoped it was because she loved him.

He let out a weak chuckle at that memory.

They always had fun together. She was stubborn at times, and so was he, but somehow they managed to compromise. They fell in love. Boris fell for the foreigner first, which was how the game was played. Alice loved him through the time she spent with him.

Both managed to make some blunders with each other, but they managed to fix them.

So when she comes back, teasing him, about how she finally got him, he'd get mad at her and find a way to take his sweet revenge. Maybe with another joke? But he wouldn't make it as bad as this. Perhaps a ride on one of the old man's deathly roller coasters. He did say he was going to have a new one up soon. Was it about mushrooms or teacups? Boris could never tell with Gowland. Anyhow, he'd let her suffer on the ride, and let her cling to him.

And then he'll get over being mad at her for scaring him like that.

Any moment now, she'll be coming back. He just knows it. Because he promised her...

* * *

The crowd of people stared in shock of what the girl had done. Coming back and forgetting everything that happened? Surely it was impossible. As they stared at the screen that had went black, they began to murmur, realizing that what they had just experienced was one of a kind. In fact, it was magic. And there was not one skeptic left in the crowd to disagree with that. Actually, there wasn't any one person on _Earth_ that disagreed with it, because they all saw her disappear right in front of their eyes. And then to only reappear on the massive white screens that were unfurled all over the world like some kind of giant posters, from skyscrapers, national monuments, sometimes just in mid air. No, it wasn't some kind of major motion picture. It wasn't a movie that could win awards. No, it was reality.

Ever since the girl had disappeared, they had been glued to their seats, watching every move of hers, following her adventures, cheering her on, booing when appropriate, crying at the touching scenes, and most importantly, bawling at the last scene. They all felt a connection with her, because she had her sweet moments, her sarcastic retorts, her stone-faced silence, her frustration when trying to give an explanation, her comedic antics, everything. And to know that she was real!

No one knew how much time had gone by, because time had stopped everything. The sun didn't move, the moon didn't revolve around the planet. There wasn't any violence occurring, because everyone was watching the girl's life. Water stopped moving, ice stopped melting. Nobody was hungry, and nobody was thirsty. Nobody slept. It was as if it was an addiction, but no one got hurt. All that existed was the girl and her adventures in Wonderland, and in love.

But what was surprising that once she finally had fallen in love, it did not end. It restarted. And restarted. Until she had fallen in love with the same pink haired boy three times, and he with her. Each time being different paths, of course.

Because it had ended, the people of Earth had finally stirred, rubbing their eyes from staring at a screen for so long. They wondered where she had went. She _was_ supposed to come back, right? And once she comes back, they'd scold her for letting go of a guy who clearly loved her and cared for her. Yet they all wondered if he really didn't exist. Evidently, it _had_ to exist. Otherwise, they would have to deny their own existence.

There were the few cynics in the crowds who believed it was just puppy love. It couldn't withstand the test of time, some thought. Eventually, the couple would have fallen apart anyway. Annoyed with her choice, they made their way to what they were doing.

Besides, a love between a part cat boy and a normal girl? It was impossible. They even had different anatomical parts. One had a heart; the other, a clock. Clearly, the two were incompatible. Nothing could change that. And humans and cats couldn't be together.

And it didn't stop some from grumbling about how they spent their time watching that tragic little tale, but they were not able to complain for long. Time had not moved at all. Still, they would still have memories of being forced to watch the story unfold.

The ones who had known the manga and the games had rejoiced at seeing their favorite characters. Excited when a part came where they went in their head 'I remember that! I loved that part! Haha, I know what happens next!' However, none of them could have predicted the end of this.

Others were pretty indifferent to her situation. What's done is done, they said, and they went about their daily lives. Why feel sorry for if she brought it upon herself? Besides, she doesn't have anything to do with them. They couldn't do anything for her. Because of this, and other reasons, they continued to live, eat, sleep, work, etc.

Even though everyone around the world was wondering about her return, one group of people were particularly antsy for her return, for she was with them when she had disappeared.

The place? School. High school to be more specific.

Ten minutes had already gone by since the end, and she still hadn't shown up. Conversations sprung up about her disappearance.

"Maybe time is different there in Wonderland."

"Maybe she got lost on the way here."  
"Idiot, she's passed out and falling!"  
"Okay, maybe her body got lost?"  
"That's the same thing!"

"What if that Wish-Giver gave her poison?"  
"Don't be ridiculous, he wouldn't do that... right?'

"Isn't it possible that she came back here, but somewhere else?"  
"Don't be ridiculous! They always come back to the place where they've suffered the most!"  
"Don't we all? I mean, we're forced to come to school everyday."

"Maybe she's dead."

Everyone stared at the tall lanky geek who had spoken up. He shrank back, mumbling, "Or maybe not," but no one listened to him.

"Maybe she got lost in a space time continuum because of the difference of the wavelengths that our own galaxy produces and has ended up in another alternate universe," someone said. Everyone turned to look at the ditzy blond in her miniskirt. She shrugged.

"What did he take from her? She's obviously not going to know. Hell, we might not even know!" one guy wondered.

Another group of guys wondered the same thing.

"What if he took her-?" one said, lifting his eyes suggestively. The guys all thought about it, and blushed furiously as they all agreed that he couldn't have done such a thing. That would be just wrong.

Her friends huddled in a corner, conversing with each other in low voices.

"Who knows what happened to her?"  
"I hope she's alright."  
"I thought they were truly in love."  
"What did the Wish-Giver take from her?"  
"She's okay, she's got to be okay."

They were all worried for their friend. Ever since she had abruptly fallen asleep on their way to inside the cafeteria, collapsing to the ground. Then they watched, unable to move, as their friend "woke up", oblivious to the world around her.

They watched her as she shuffled toward the glass door that suddenly appeared in the middle of the campus. To everyone's shock, the girl didn't open the door but _glided_ through, like it was water. Even more puzzling was the fact that once she got halfway in, the students and faculty around couldn't see the part of her that went through the door. Which was impossible since it was a glass door. Once she entered fully, and no one could see her, the glass shattered into a million pieces and fell to the ground. Nothing was left of her.

At that exact moment, the screens fell. There, they could see that as she fell, there was a small smile placed on her lips. Her eyes were closed; she was in a trance. They watched as her body transformed, as her limbs elongated. The color of her hair lightened many shades, until it no longer was close to her natural hue. Even her clothes had changed. Instead of the standard red plaid skirt and white tee shirt combination, there was a mint green frilly dress, reminiscent of the Victorian times, and a bow that matched was placed in her hair.

Then they had stared at a screen to see their friend who-looked-like-a-stranger wake up underneath a tree, confused.

~.

_The girl looked about when she heard someone call out to her._

_"Alice! Oh, Alice, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you," the woman with same eyes as her said, leaning over the girl. The smaller of the two slowly blinked out of her stupor._

_"Eh? Oh, good morning Lorena... How are you today?" Alice mumbled back, rubbing her eyes. She reclined against the large oak tree, while her sister laughed._

_"Oh dear, it's afternoon still. But I don't believe you should be sleeping outside. You will get sick, and I don't want to get worried," Lorena said in a concerned manner._

_ Alice had grinned up at her, hands planted in the rich green grass._

_"Don't worry! Nothing bad is going to happen to me," she said, assuring her elder sister of her safety. _

_Lorena opened her mouth, but hesitated when she saw her younger sister, healthy and radiant in the light green dress she had selected for her. She smiled back at her and stroked Alice's head._

_"Okay then. How about we go back inside? I find these delightful new books at the bookstore that you might be interested." Lorena knelt down and helped Alice back to her feet. Eyes twinkling, Alice offered her arm to her sister, and Lorena laughingly linked arms and walked back to their house as the sun descended in the sky._

~.

To have forgotten about her own original world and go through another life in another world, with her fake family who didn't love her, except her elder sister? How was this possible? They saw how she went through the death of her mother. And then everyone saw her fall in love with her tutor, only to be broken hearted to find out he was courting her sister. They watched as she was kidnapped by a white rabbit on a lazy Sunday afternoon, and it was there that her adventures in Wonderland had started.

As everyone had murmured and chatted and wondered, the girl in question slowly dropped out of the sky. With a light thud, she fell to the ground and laid there. For one second, everyone just looked at her; the next moment, they were all scrambling to get to her. Each person held their breath, in hopes that she hadn't gotten hurt.

Since the last time the screen had turned black, they saw that the girl had indeed changed. No longer was she a blond. Instead, her hair turned into the jet-black hair she had naturally received. However, the style and length of hair stayed the same. She also had shrunken to a smaller size. Shorter than most girls her age, she was tiny. Because of that, everyone she met always thought she was younger than her own age. And even though they couldn't see it, everybody was willing to bet that her blue-green eyes changed into dark brown.

She stirred as someone called her name.

"_Anjelica!"_

* * *

The Wish-Giver looked at the image floating in front of him and smirked as she woke up. _What a lovely little girl. So tormented by reason and logic. But loved to love dreams and fantasies. _

Sitting in his chair, he twirled a jar around in the palm of his hand. A blue smoky haze swirled around in the jar, with the occasional sparkle floating around, almost like a mini galaxy. But when he peered closer at it, he could see memories of the girl during her life as Alice. When she met the clock maker, when she was almost killed by the gatekeepers, when she went to the tea party held by the queen, etc.

_So many memories in such a small place. Appropriately named for Wonderland, because having everyone love you is indeed a wonder. It's just too bad she wished this away. _He pondered at that last thought. Who would want to forget something like that? Well,_ that_ girl, apparently. She didn't want the memories. And so she won't have them.

He got out of his seat, turned on his heel, and set the glass jar onto a shelf with the many other objects he had collected from countless others who had been granted a wish. A surfboard decorated with flowers, a snow globe with a small house inside, a video game featuring the latest violent weaponry, and many more items that had been taken from those people. All of these trinkets laid in a museum-like room, each object having a specific place and plaque.

The Wish-Giver was located in the same vast space as earlier, in a vague outline of a grandiose palace. He took pride in his architecture, even though he rarely had visitors. Actually, he was quite proud of everything he had.

Especially of his new treasure. One was the girl's memories, which was, in truth, kind of forced upon him, but he didn't mind it. The memories were an added bonus. However, it was the other one that was the _real_ prize. He's never had anything like it before. It was one of a kind.

Another glass jar was placed beside the jar containing her memories. The Wish-Giver picked it up and balanced it on his index and middle fingers.

_What a wonderful addition to my collection,_ he thought_,_ looking at the object inside._ Such a shame she won't be having this anymore. _He cast his eyes over the treasure. The Wish-Giver had been searching for the right person for it, and it seemed like forever until he found this girl in his dimension. Without a second thought, he had pounced on this chance to acquire it. And at last! He received it, and the girl hadn't even put up a fight.

His new trinket pulsated pink inside, going _badump...badump... badump..._

* * *

**This chapter is a bit jumpy at parts, so apologies for that. It was kind of difficult to make this flow. Also, I'm sorry for the OOCness of Boris. I know he's usually upbeat & playful, but he really couldn't be like that after "Alice" reacts with the "I hate you, this place isn't real!" etc.**

**I'd like to ask, do you prefer more descriptions of places & things so you can picture it with details, or do you prefer basic descriptions so you have the "freedom of imagination" kind of thing?**

**How do you like Dee & Dum refer to her? Like "lady" or "onee-san"? I can't make up my mind, because it feels weird plopping a Japanese word in the middle of the story, but it doesn't sound right without the twins calling her onee-san. **

**By the way, how would you react if something like this happened? I plan on replacing the paragraph starting with "The ones who had known the manga & games..." with what you would do/say since what I came up with was, once again, lame. So please, give me suggestions! (Gah, too many questions. Sorry!)**


	5. An Explanation Please!

**A/N: Once again, thank you very much for reading. Boris won't be making any appearances in this one either ( I know, I'm sad too *sob* where's my pink kitty cat?). I feel like it's going a little too slow right now, but it'll pick up the speed.**

**Blah blah blah, reactions of going back home. Debating whether anyone else in her world should get names, or if that will make it just cluttered.**

**Disclaimer: HnKnA can't & won't be owned by me. Otherwise, I would somehow make it into reality. *grins***

* * *

**Chapter 5**

The first thing the girl noticed was the cold ground beneath her. _Cement, _she noted. She could smell the terrible cafeteria food wafting in the breeze. Then she could hear the buzz of the people who seemed like they were all crowded around her.

Finally, she opened her eyes. A flash of color dotted her vision as she got used to the sunlight. Everyone quieted as she blinked a couple of times, then stared confusedly back at them. Then, she realized that something didn't feel right. She looked down at herself and didn't see the outfit she remembered, but instead a blue dress, with golden designs around the sleeves, that went above her knees, with a- is that an apron? She looked further. White and blue striped socks, black shoes. Not what she originally wore. She pushed herself in a sitting position looked up at the crowd.

Unable to stand it, her friends threw themselves onto her, with everybody in the crowd asking her questions left to right.

"Are you hurt?'

"Do you remember anything?"

"What did he take?"

"Are you okay?"

"Why is that in your hand?"

She turned at that last question. For some odd reason, the girl was holding a book. She pulled it closer to her to see the title: _Alice in Wonderland. _

It had been her favorite book as a child, but how it ended up in her hands, she (and everyone else) didn't know.

One of the teachers finally made their way to her, and put her hands on her shoulders, asking "Are you alright?" Anjelica looked at her blankly, and shook her head to say 'no'.

Adjusting her position, she asked the crowd, "What happened?"

From every direction, the petite girl was bombarded with answers, but through it all, she sat stone-faced, merely looking at everywhere and nothing. All the words were just a big jumble to her. Her head still felt a bit foggy, but why it was, she couldn't say.

She held up her hands and calmly said "Stop." Everyone fell silent.

"The last thing I remember was walking towards the cafeteria, and then everything went black. But I'm pretty sure that I wasn't in the middle of the school, and I didn't think it was a big deal for just fainting. So why is pretty much the whole school gathered around me?" Her voice was dispassionate and she folded her hands back into her lap.

"I would really like an explanation, but by only one person, please, so I don't have my eardrums blown out."

Everyone looked at each other nervously. They remembered her wish; she didn't want to remember anything that had to do with Wonderland. But for everyone in the world to know what she had done, and her being completely oblivious... well, wouldn't that be cruel? After a few more seconds of silence, Anjelica sighed and stood up, dusting off her dress. Clearly, she wouldn't get any answers.

Someone cleared their throat and the dark haired girl looked up. It was a classmate from her math class.

"Hey, um," she began nervously, "aren't you going to ask where your dress came from?" She was immediately hushed by several others around her.

Anjelica glanced at her and distantly replied, "Not really. I don't think I'm going to get the answer, so there isn't any use."

She got up and searched through the crowd, looking for someone. To everyone's confusion, shewalked towards the school's librarian. Anjelica handed her the book, explaining that "I already have the book at home, so I don't need this one. It's just a donation."

As soon as she was finished talking, she was interrupted by voices shouting "Annie! Annie!" Anjelica recognized the voices and turned around as her mother and father hugged her.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry!" her mother cried into her ear, and her father, blushing, remember his daughter-who-wasn't-herself's antics throughout the story, if you could call it that, and patted her head, saying that everything was alright. They had rushed right over as soon as the story -as Alice- ended.

"Mmphmrph," Anjelica mumbled into her mom's shoulder, not being able to talk. Her mother stood back, apologizing.

"It's okay, honey, we still love you!" she exclaimed. The petite girl raised an eyebrow.

"Um, thanks." she said. "But I guess you heard about me fainting. Sorry."

"What fainting-?" her father started to ask, but was interrupted by a flurry of motion. The school principal gestured wildly behind the student, trying to convey that they shouldn't tell her what happened. Her mother tried to cover up her husband's unfinished question.

"We were just so worried about it. Because you never fainted before," she looked pointedly to Anjelica's father, trying to get her message across.

"Um, alright. Well, thank you for being concerned. I-" she was saying when the bell rang, indicating the end of lunch. Anjelica's parents walked towards to the principal, dragging their daughter along.

"We'd like it if our daughter would be able to take the rest of the day off, if you don't mind," her mother said. The principal nodded and as a good idea took place, clapped his hands.

"Actually, that is a splendid idea. In fact, why doesn't everyone take the rest of the day off?" he announced to the crowd. The students cheered, since any time off of school they would consider as a blessing. Anjelica stared in disbelief; just because she fainted, school was canceled the rest of the day?

"Now, we're going to take you to the hospital, just to make sure you're okay, alright honey?" Her mother steered Anjelica to their car. Her dark haired daughter looked at her parents and nodded. Once in the car, Anjelica laid her head against the seat. Feeling drowsy, she thought_, Fainting takes a lot away from you, doesn't it? _With that, she promptly fell asleep. Her parents, hearing only silence, glanced in the back. Seeing her asleep, they both looked at each other and gave a sad smile.

* * *

_Well, that's never going to happen again, _the librarian thought to herself while cleaning after most of the students had left the school in a somber celebration. They had realized that even though they would have a couple of hours off of school, one of their classmates would never have her memories back. Even though it _was_ her fault that they were gone.

Continuing to put away the books, she thought about the girl. _But it's so strange. Everything will seem perfect to her. That's a bit annoying. Shouldn't she at least know what has happened? Life isn't a fairytale. _She thought about it some more, and realized that the girl had given up a part of her life. No matter how selfish that wish seemed, she couldn't exactly blame her.

_She's only numbing the pain, _the librarian continued thinking. But _it doesn't really solve her problems, does it?_

She was almost done with cleaning until she knocked a book off the counter, and while she picked it up, she realized it was the copy of _Alice in Wonderland_ that the girl gave to her. Smiling, she walked towards the back room of the library to get it ready to be entered into the library's system when she noticed that one of the pages was folded.

Frowning on any type of damage to books, she opened up the book to fix the page. Curious at why this page was so important, she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and read it. She gave a small gasp at what she read.

It was the page where Alice had last seen the Cheshire Cat.

* * *

**Dun-dun-dun! What's that? Last time she's seen the Cheshire Cat? Is it the last time you'll see him? *le gasp* Don't worry! Boris & some of the other Wonderland bishies *drools* are going to be in the next chapter. I can't wait XD **

**So please bear with me here!**


	6. Where Did She Go?

**Chapter 6**

Gowland, in his bright yellow suit, was walking around the Amusement Park, making sure that everything was going smoothly and trying to think up additional rides. He was thinking of something to do with mushrooms, when he saw Boris walking through the front gates. Actually, it was more like dragging his feet than it was walking. It wasn't just that though. Boris's head was hung low, slouching over, different from his upbeat posture and his casual strolling. The owner then became aware of the fact that six time zones had passed, but had not seen hair nor hide of Alice and Boris, and here was the cat coming in without the girl. He called Boris over.

The pink haired youth stopped in his tracks, and considered walking in the opposite direction. He shook his head, and trudged towards the red haired man. For once, Boris actually listened to the Amusement Park owner, and this surprised him. The boy stood still in front of him, with his head facing the ground, and his ears laid flat against his head.

Gowland raised his eyebrows and asked Boris, "What happened?" and looking around, asked, "Where's Alice? Did you lose her?"

Boris flinched. "What? You lost her? How is this possible? And for six timezones too!" Gowland exclaimed. He sighed, saying, "Alice will be fine though, she probably just is at one of the other territories. She'll be alright on her own."

The cat murmured something he couldn't hear. "What's that, cat got your tongue?" Gowland teased the boy. He mumbled just a little louder but still too quiet. "Jealous of the other Roleholders? Come on kitty, tell me." Boris's head snapped and stared up defiantly at Gowland, with his red tinted eyes.

"She left Wonderland, and it turns out that Alice isn't even her name!" The man blinked.

"Isn't even her name? What do you mean? That's what she introduced herself as. And left so abruptly! It's not true! I was going to ask her to help me with one of the new attractions."

"Yeah it is. She told me herself, right before she left running. She said all these sorts of thing..." Boris trailed off.

"What things?" Gowland asked, saddened by her disappearance. He would've been pleased if she had at least said goodbye before she returned home. Then it occurred to him.

"Huh? Why was she running?" he asked the freeloader.

Boris shifted his gaze off to the side and tonelessly said, "Well, she kind of yelled at me that everything wasn't real, because it was all just a game. But not the game that Wonderland plays. It's something like a video game, so someone can control the foreigner. And Wonderland doesn't really exist because everything is fiction, and not a dream. And she said her name wasn't Alice. But she took off running and I couldn't catch up to her." _And she said she didn't love me. She said she hated me,_ he silently added.

After she left him, he wandered to the forest. He lost track of time and numbly walked about, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, hoping that she would pop out behind a tree and say 'Just kidding!' _But she couldn't be that cruel. She couldn't have made things up like that out of nowhere. She couldn't- _Boris stopped himself. The Alice he knew didn't exist. All that exist was the girl that stood in front of him, screaming that he didn't exist, and that she hated him. She was right; he didn't know who she was.

He recalled part of the last six timezones.

~.

"_Alice! Alice! I- I mean, person who isn't Alice! Where are you?" Boris yelled through the forest, searching for the girl. No answer._

"_Don't just run off! Who knows what you'll run into?" Still nothing._

_ After he had shaken himself out of the daze, he had quickly took off for the direction she escaped, worried that she might get hurt in her condition. He didn't know what happened, or why she was claiming all these different things, but he wanted to make sure she was safe. He sniffed the air, trying to catch her scent. At first, he caught the faint smell, but eventually it ended up disappearing._

_Sure, he was mad as hell at first, stomping through the leaf scattered ground, thinking of all the ways to make her feel bad, but as he thought about it, he started to believe that what she said was true. At least parts of it. He couldn't accept the whole truth now._

_He sat on a nearby log, rubbing his neck. "Arggh! Why?" He couldn't understand it. He knew there was more to know, but now that she was gone, he couldn't ask her. He tried massaging his temples, trying to calm himself down. __Everything had been going fine now. Joker had backed off of Alice, she finally moved in with him, and he no longer needed to have the handcuffs on her._

_Wait..._

_What?_

_Since when had he had handcuffed her? _Since she tried to leave the first time,_ a little voice whispered to him._

The first time?

_His memories started to flood back into him. He remembered how he kissed her on the steps of her room. He remembered how he tried to stop her from leaving Wonderland. How he handcuffed her when so she wouldn't leave him. When they were in the Country of Hearts._

_Another batch of memories entered. How he was jealous of the man at the inn she worked at, and her cat Dinah. He remembered showing her the forest of glowing mushrooms. And kissing her in that forest. That was in the Country of Clovers._

_And the last place was the Country of Jokers._

_He felt himself slip off the log onto the ground. _Sh- she wasn't kidding, _he realized._ _It might just be really a game._

~.

"We're not real? And Alice left. But she wasn't Alice. So Alice didn't leave. Just the girl left," Gowland confusedly tried to put the pieces together, when he heard an all too familiar voice behind him.

"The young lady has left us? The young lady whose name isn't Alice," Blood Dupre commented. The owner glared at the mafia boss. He went on.

"How truly devastating. I was going to ask her to come to the mansion for tea after I negotiated land with Mary." Gowland glared at the mafia boss through his glasses.

"Shut up, Blood. I'm busy. Go away before murder you," Gowland said, grinding his teeth.

"Right, Mary. How are you going to do that, Mary? Will you strap me onto a _merry go-round_, Mary? How unfortunate, Mary." The amusement park owner started to take out his violin, angered by the mafioso's words, and changed it into his rifle.

A gunfight ensued, and after 20 minutes of Gowland ranting about how he will make sure Blood will find his place at the bottom of the ocean, Elliot paused and exclaimed, "Blood! What are we doing? Alice left!"

"Aww, the lady's left? We wanted to play with her!" whined one of two boys who joined the group, twirling his ax after causing some casualties with his 'playmates'.

"We didn't get a chance to show her our new treasure!" said the other who appeared next to his brother and was decked out in a blue uniform.

"Yes, please excuse me," the handsome Hatter said, putting his hand to his chest. "What happened to the young miss?"

* * *

The next morning, Anjelica walked through the gigantic archway that encompassed both the administration office and the cafeteria. It was at least seventy feet tall and thirty feet wide, donated by a nearby wealthy construction company owner. He ordered it to be made of steel, so now whenever anybody looked right at the sun through the archway, it looked like the sun had a halo around it because of the shine it gave off.

Everyone she passed by either stood and stared at her or started whispering to their friends as soon as they saw her. The small girl made her way through the courtyard to meet her friends at their usual spot. Upon seeing their oblivious friend, they all congregated towards her. She eyed the people surrounding her, merely saying hi.

"Annie, are you alright? We heard you were going to the hospital, but we didn't know if anything was wrong, after, well, you know, you fainted," asked a brunette.

"I'm fine," Anjelica replied. "But I didn't have a full check up. There was an emergency that called my doctor away, so I only had time for an hearing and sight test." She shrugged. "There were very few doctors left at the hospital. Apparently a lot of them were in a good mood and left because there weren't many patients at the time. She couldn't schedule me until another month. It's alright though. She asked me if I was experiencing any symptoms that I needed to get checked right away. I told her no," she said, quickly falling silent.

There was a moment of awkward silence before everyone started talking again, avoiding talk of the "incident" as they decided to call it. But their friend didn't participate in any conversation unless someone directly asked her a question. They decided to give the girl her space, even though she couldn't remember a single thing. They wanted to respect her lost memories It was the same throughout the day. People would be careful about asking her questions and stop whispering as soon as she entered the room. Everyone watched her anxiously throughout the day, whether she was writing down notes for science, walking through halls, or even opening a door.

While her friends still acted normal, talking about how cruel their history test was, Anjelica had been staring at the sky, finished with her lunch. Noticing that she was spacing out, a blond friend smiled. It was the usual Anjelica, always daydreaming and being the space case that she was. She waved her hand in front of the girl. Anjelica blinked slowly and turned to her friend. The blond grinned and asked what she was daydreaming about, half-wishing it was about Wonderland.

Anjelica shrugged, saying "Nothing."

"Nothing? You're always thinking about something," her friend teased her.

"No, really, I wasn't thinking about anything," the raven-haired teen insisted with a straight face.

The blond only giggled. "Fine, whatever, keep it to yourself. So, what did you think of the history test?"

Anjelica answered and became silent once more. If anything, people would have thought that she was thinking back to her days in Wonderland. But they knew it couldn't be true, because they knew that she lost all memories of that place. But some were wondering if 'maybe she's just pretending not to remember.' If so, the girl was the best actress they had ever seen.

After school, her friends invited her to go out to eat, but she said she couldn't, that she had too much homework to do, and went home. Once she was done around midnight, Anjelica felt her eyes were slipping, and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. However, the impact of her body shift her mattress just enough so that a book with purple swirls on the cover between the mattress and her night table tumbled onto the ground. It laid open on the first page, reading:

_Day 1_

_Well, here's another diary/ journal thing. I gotta say, it was just too cute to resist. Besides, I can't find my other journals, so I might as well get a new one, right? So, my name is Anjelica Wrydell. I'm 17, and I'm in my second to last year of high school. Even though I'm actually one of the oldest of my friends, I look younger. It doesn't help that I'm shorter than everyone. People still think I'm 12. __It's funny, everyone treats me the age I look. Like I'm the child. They always compare me to puppies & bunnies. They even pinch my cheeks. I guess I play it up a bit too much though, acting childish. But I like smiling and having people laugh. It makes everything better._

_OMG! I found this really cool book at the bookstore. Technically, it's a manga. I guess it's like a book with pictures, but with really awesome graphics. Would saying it's Japanese help? Haha, look at me talking to a journal. Okay, writing in the journal. Like you're gonna talk back to me. Hahaha... yeah._

_ Anyways, the manga. Really cool. Called Alice in the Country of Hearts. I was looking for _Through the Looking Glass, _but somehow I found this instead. It's really cool. Alice is older, about my age I think, and she gets kidnapped by a rabbit guy named Peter White and brings her down a rabbit hole to Wonderland. And wow. Wonderland is full of guns and blood, but especially guys! It's too bad they're 2D. Right now, Ace is my favorite. I mean, come on, a knight who gets lost? Classic! He's pretty cute for being in black and white too. But I've only read the first volume. Hopefully I'll get the others._

_Anyway, I guess I should be honest why I really started writing in this journal. Besides losing the others. I think it's because I've been feeling down for a while now. I don't really know why. It just comes and goes randomly. Usually I'm able to ignore it. I just start thinking about sad things, which makes me sad. But it gets overwhelming at times. Oh well, it's probably just a phase, right?_

_Oops, I gotta go. It smells like my mom just baked some cookies! Yum._

* * *

Several days passed and things started to go back to normal. There was the usual traffic jams, the usual rowdy crowds at school, the usual explosions in the science building by curious teenage boys. Whispering went around the halls about a certain girl's misfortune, but it had simmered down. But no one could ignore it fully. They couldn't erase their own memories.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! That journal will help explain a lot about Anjelica. It's going to be updated each time she appears in the story, just to let you know. Like it? Hate it? Indifferent? Want a cupcake?**

**Uh huh, I thought so. ****Bit OOC here. But g****et ready for a whole chapter of the Wonderland residents!**


	7. Was She A Liar?

**School is finally over, thank goodness. It means more time to write, but unfortunately, school threw me off track of what I was writing. So, it's a bit choppy in my opinion, but please, enjoy!**

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**Chapter 7**

In Wonderland, all of the Roleholders were gathered for an emergency meeting. It was decided to be held in Clover Tower, the only neutral territory, besides the Circus, but it was a silent agreement that it wouldn't be held there. The attendants were all sitting around a long ebony table in one of the halls, since the meeting room was filled with paperwork Nightmare had been neglecting.

Vivaldi, the Queen of Hearts, was shouting at Nightmare, who was coughing up blood, while Peter was on the ground, bemoaning the fact that his beloved is gone from Wonderland. Dee and Dum were slumped over in the chairs, saying "Things were more fun with the lady around. I miss her." "Wait, I miss her too!" and both sighed. Pierce was staring sadly into his cup of coffee, which became cold without him taking a sip. Elliot and Nightmare were in a heated discussion, or as the others would say, an argument, over the foreigner. Blood sat in his chair, sipping his tea, with Gowland was right next to him, still distraught over the girl's disappearance. Even Joker was there with the mask on his belt, being a Roleholder himself; however, everyone else avoided him. Going unnoticed, Gray, Julius, and Boris were sitting silently at the other end of the table. Julius and Gray were looking at the others with distaste, but in their eyes were a hint of sadness as well.

Boris sat still, showing no emotions on his face. The cat's tail didn't even sway back and forth like it usually did. He just sat and stared at the opposite wall. Everything still felt so numb, as if he'd stayed under ice for too long. Everything felt so unreal. _Maybe because she was right. Maybe everything isn't true. But how? And why? And her last words... _Boris gulped. He would not let himself think about that.

Julius looked over and saw the miserable Cheshire Cat. Even though the watchmaker was anti social, he still could read everyone's faces. And the things he saw, or more what he _didn't _see, on the cat's face made him pity him. He sighed.

"Boris, can you get everyone to settle down? We're not getting anything settled with this noise," Julius complained, trying to keep Boris's mind occupied. Boris looked startled, but understood what the mortician was asking him. The teen stood up and looked around, trying to figure out a way to calm everyone down. He tried yelling, "Hey, let's start the meeting!" but no one listened to him. Next, waving his hands, the cat tried to get their attention. Everyone ignored him. Not giving up, Boris looked around to see what would get their attention. All there was were chairs, the table, and the attendants. Nothing was going to help him. He wracked his brain for a way, and a light bulb went off. His gun was taken out like magic, and Boris didn't hesitate when it came to shooting in the air.

*BANG BANG BANG*

The Roleholders froze and looked for the source of the gunshot. Boris stood at the head of the table, looking down with his pink bangs covering his eyes, a bit pissed off.

In a constrained voice, he said "Will everyone please sit down? We are here to discuss something important. Important to ALL of us. Now, if we can get on with this..." He trailed off, remembering what the point was.

Gray took over, saying "Now we need to calm down and figure out this mess."

Nightmare glared at the bullet holes in the ceiling, muttering "that cat is going to pay the repair bills."

Once everyone was finally settled, and once again, Boris was forced to repeat his conversation with the foreigner. He hoped it was for the last time. After telling the story, everyone sat in silence, trying to figure out their own interpretations of her going mad. Clearing his throat, Elliot slowly said, "Well, she said she wasn't Alice, even though she told us she wasn't. So does that means she lied to us?" A murmur arose from the Roleholders. Was she a liar? Did she trick them on purpose?

"Eh, actually, I don't think-" Nightmare started to say until Peter exclaimed, "My Alice? That's impossible! It was her, that very Alice! She has to be Alice. She can't be lying! She's beautiful and cannot lie!" The Prime Minister was obviously stuck in denial, much to the disgust of the rest.

"Well, if she was lying about herself, why can't she be lying about how we don't exist?" Joker blatantly asked. Heads swiveled around to look at him, and he innocently smiled.

"Hm, that's a good question, but I-" Nightmare began but with another interruption from Blood, he was stopped.

"It's quite possible that the young lady herself doesn't exist, rather than us not existing. And so she was completely manipulating us all," the mafia boss said.

"But what is the point of that? And if she did confuse us on purpose, how did she know how to do it? She must have been created by someone else," said Vivaldi, her eyebrows knitted.

"Waaaa? There's a big monster who's made Alice and made her manipulate us?" Pierce cried. "I don't like the sound of that," he continued sadly, nibbling on his cheese. The group looked at one other. Someone who was playing the puppet strings on all of them? Everyone's nervous chatter about someone who was laughing at them for being fooled filled up the room when the incubus slammed his hands on the table.

"Enough! There's one- blergh," he tried to say until he coughed up blood. Gray rushed to his boss, and gave him his handkerchief. After the coughing fit subsided, Nightmare resumed his thoughts on the matter.

"These are all 'what ifs' so we can't accuse her or anyone else of anything until we find out the answers to our basic questions. I do know one thing though, and that was that the outsider truly believed that she was Alice. I've read her mind, and everything there was about her life here or thinking about her original world, and her elder sister named Lorena. Now," he nervously waved. "If I'm not mistaken, the foreigner said that she doesn't have a sister. Or two sisters, to be frank. So we can put her lying absolutely out of the question," Nightmare finished.

"If you're right, then we cannot blame this on the girl," Nightmare's subordinated mused. "So we don't have to worry about this."

Gowland spoke up. "Are we just going to keep calling her the foreigner or the girl or the outsider? And just wonder this, but why all the sudden did she remember everything from her original life? What caused her to go beserk and run off? Was there something special about that moment?" All eyes turned onto the pink haired teenager for the answer. Boris sat through, trying to figure out what the truth might be, so he did not realize everyone looking at him. Jolted out of his thoughts by a nudge from Julius, he was asked what had happened at the exact moment the girl had broken out of her apparent trance state. Boris recollected his thoughts, trying to remember if there was anything that seemed out of the ordinary. He looked up and shook his head.

"There's nothing that stood out. I already told my story. She got really tense all the sudden, and I tried to calm her down. I said that I loved her," here he grew pale, but went on. "And then she said 'No.' After that she got angry and started screaming."

"Maybe she was disgusted of the thought of you loving her," Dee suggested. Dum responded, "But brother, why would that make her remember her original life?"

"Well I already told her that I loved her before, so it can't be that. But I don't know why it would make her remember anything," said Boris, scratching his head.

"We believe that the only way to find out the truth is if we found and asked her," Vivaldi said, brandishing her gold scepter.

Some nodded and Peter asked, lifting his head from the table, "But we do not know where she is! We don't even know her real name..."

The Roleholders turned to face the rabbit, confusedly saying, "But weren't you the one who kidnapped the girl down the hole?" Peter puffed up his chest at the question.

"I did not kidnap her! She wanted to come here and she drank the potion!" he exclaimed. Ignoring the raised eyebrows, Peter continued. "But the most important thing is that she returns! Because I love her!"

Boris got to his feet, angered by his words and yelled at the Prime Minister, "If you love her, you want her to be happy!" His eyebrows were knitted together "And whose to say that she'll be happier here where it's all not real!" The white rabbit pulled on his clock and changed it into a gun, facing the cat.

"Are you implying that I don't love Alice? Go to hell, you filthy cat!" The rabbit began shooting at the cat, his face contorted in anger . Nearly getting hit, Boris pulled out his gun again and the fight between the two continued with Elliot trying unsuccessfully to get the cat and rabbit to calm down.

"I meant that she'd rather be somewhere else where it's 'real'. That's why she left!" Boris yelled as he chased Peter about the room.

"It was because of you that my darling Alice has left at all! You! You are the reason why she hates us! She left Wonderland because of you! And I'm going to kill you for it!" Peter's crimson eyes glared at the cat as he aimed for a more accurate shot. Boris's eyes narrowed into slits and he snarled at Peter, "Go to hell!"

*BANG*

In the middle of the fight, Peter got hit in the back with the large door, with Ace strolling out of it. The Knight was smiling idiotically as ever. And as late as ever.

"What did I miss?" he asked, grinning, pausing to notice Peter who was knocked to the ground.

"Mr. Bunny, why are you sleeping? I thought we had a meeting!" the knight laughed. Walking to an empty seat next to Julius, Ace plopped down.

Julius glared at him, and said, "I'm guessing that you got lost. Again." Ace nodded. Sighing, Julius explained what had happened the younger man. Peter had gotten up in the meantime, and gave a dirty look to both Ace and Boris.

"You're lucky that I want Alice back," he said and sat down in his seat. Boris was left standing, getting his thoughts back together. Peter's words had rattled him, angered him, and he lost control. That's not something Alice would have approved of. In fact, she would probably be trying to get in between them, not wanting them to hurt each other. _But she's gone_, he reminded himself._ Alice didn't even exist in the first place. Or was it that we don't exist?_

"Okay, besides that, what about Wonderland not existing? If she wasn't lying, how could she be lying about that?" Gowland asked, trying to divert everyone's attention. Clamoring voices were heard throughout the hall, realizing that they themselves might not be existing. Panic swept throughout the group, and each person was thinking, _What if the girl was right? If she said that she wasn't Alice and wasn't pretending, then we might not be real? _It was still a shock to them. The residents of Wonderland knew that there were other worlds, occasionally one who made their way to their world. Alice, or the girl they thought was Alice, was such one. But to be told it was all just a game, it was difficult for them. 'Alice' had thought Wonderland was just a dream, and so they all went along with it. It was the easiest way to explain things.

_Wait a second. If she said this was only a game... _Elliot's eyes widened. "I think she might've been wrong about one thing. We are definitely real!" he cried out.

"What do you mean, chickie rabbit?" asked Dee and Dum. Elliot paced around the room, about to murder the twins, but stopped by Blood's glare. Elliot continued with his thought.

"If she said that this is just a game, wouldn't the game be stopped by now? Because games don't exist without their players. And since she left, we don't have any other foreigners." Some caught on to his thinking.

"So what you're saying is that we really do exist?" Pierce asked, excited by the idea that they might be real.

Boris smiled in a very Cheshire-like manner, and said, "Yes, and that means that I can really eat you." The Dormouse squeaked and hid under the table, with Elliot sitting back down.

"It also means we aren't empty people. Yeah, we have clocks in our chest, but we do live," he added. _And we die too. _All the Roleholders were relieved. Elliot had brought up a good point. Without the player, games stop. But the Wonderland inhabitants kept on moving forward. They truly do exist. But there was something that was gnawing at them.

Blood crossed his legs leisurely and said, "Alright, so we do exist. But what was the point of the young miss being here? How did she even end up here? Or in the other world that was the so-called 'Alice's'?"

Nightmare was thinking how much better this meeting was going compared to the ones in the Country of Clover. People were actually interested in the meeting. Sure, there was violence, but it was way better than it could have been.

"Too bad we can't find her and ask her why. I really want to know who she is," Pierce said. The people around the table agreed.

"I wish we could have some way to find her," Dee said, swinging his axe.

Joker normally didn't want to get involved in things, but he had to admit, he wanted the girl. She was different from everybody, like a breath of fresh air. She escaped from him with the cat, and he wanted her. More like he wanted her soul to keep and hold. He knew that there was some way to find her and figure out who she was. Abruptly, a light bulb went off in his head. _"Joker, you're not f****** thinking about what I'm f******* thinking,_" said a voice coming from his belt. White Joker smiled. "Of course I am, Joker. It would be really interesting to see this happen."

* * *

**Oh boy, what is Joker up to now?**


	8. Through the Looking Glass

**Ergh, sorry for not publishing in a while. Got caught up in some things and then I just grew lazy. My bad! So please enjoy this short chapter for any kind of wait.**

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**Chapter 8**

"Hey, is it just me, or is there something weird about Anjelica?" one of her friends asked, a little more than two weeks later. The group looked around, making sure she was not there. They were at school earlier than normal. A brunette remarked, "Okay, good, it wasn't just me. Yeah, I think there's something weird going on. I just couldn't figure it out."

"Well, she's not the normal Anjelica we know. I'm pretty sure it might be because," the blond lowered her voice, "because she lost her memories." Another blond, green-eyed girl agreed, saying it was possible. Surely things would change after forgetting nearly what seemed like a year. In some instances, it seemed like the girl had just come out of a coma. For anybody, it would be hard to adjust to life after that.

But that wasn't the issue. Anjelica had more than just that going on. She easily slipped back into her usual routine of going to school, doing homework, eating, sleeping, as if she never left. However, something was missing in her life. Something was missing from _her._ The group chattered about what was going on, and what might be possibly different about the girl. They all cared about her, and she cared a lot about them. But the girl they knew felt like she was slipping away.

After a hushed conversation, every single one agreed to keep watching Anjelica, to observe what was different about her. As soon as they finished their agreement, Anjelica walked up to the group.

"Hey Annie! What's different with you?," her red-headed friend said a little too cheerfully. The ginger felt a sharp pain in ribs where the brunette elbowed her. Anjelica replied, with no tone, "Nothing is different. Just the same." She looked towards the ground, almost as if she was bored. The girls around her looked at each other, anxiously.

~.

"Are you sure this is gonna work?" Dum asked White. The jester raises his eyebrow and said, "Are you doubting my abilities?" The boy shook his head.

"Nope, but I think they do," he said, jabbing his thumb backward to the Roleholders behind his back. Everyone's eyes dropped to the ground.

Now they were assembled at the upper level of Clover Tower, in a room covered in stones. After sending out for some items, White pulled everyone aside to tell them of what he think might work to find the girl whose name was not Alice. It took some reluctant cooperation from the rest of them, especially Nightmare, but curiosity and the love they still felt for the foreigner had the faces go on with the "trick", as White liked to call it.

They were all gathered around a pool of some sort of liquid. It turned out that this one was the exact same kind of potion that the outsiders had to drink in order to play the game. Pierce leaned forward to look at it, when Joker snaps his whip in the air. _"What the f*** are you doing you moron? Step away from the f****** edge. You don't want to f****** ruin our chance to find out what the hell is going on, do you? D*** mouse," _said Black, from his position on the belt. Pierce whimpered and scrambled to hide behind Gowland. White laughed apologetically and covered the mask's mouth. "Sorry, sorry, he's just a little anxious." A string of expletives were muffled by White's hand, sounding like he's denying White's words.

Boris was lagging in the background, unsure if he really wanted to see her. Her last words still echoed in his mind. _"I hate you." Such a powerful group of words. If she hates me,_ _why do I want to see her again? I guess I just want to know if she's safe and back home... I never knew what happened to her. What if she got lost? Is she okay? What is she like? Does she like the same things she did here? Where does she really come from? Is it the same as the other world she talked about? Do they have cats like me there? Wait... maybe she really does have the person she likes there! _His ears drooped down. _Maybe that's why she hates me. She was forced into the game, and now she hates me because she cheated on him. _A lump formed in his throat, and his ears drooped. He never wanted to be the one on the side. _I don't blame her for hating me then._

"Oi, Boris, get over here!" he heard Gowland shout. The cat hoisted himself out of his seat, and walked towards the pool. White showed each spot the chosen Roleholder was to remain. Forming a circle, Vivaldi, Gowland, Blood, Nightmare, Julius, Joker, and Boris stood around the pool. They were selected because they had control over their own territory, with the exception of Boris. He had the deepest connection to her, no matter how different she really was from the "Alice" they knew. The rest of the Roleholders stepped to the edges of the room, trying not to interrupt the others' work.

"Remember what I told you," White murmured from his place. "And only once we're finished can we step away from our posts." The six others nodded their heads. At that point, they would rather not argue with Joker. "We start now."

With their eyes closed, the seven concentrated on what the Alice they knew meant to them.

Blond, sarcastic, pessimistic about the world. Forever with her ribbon perched on her head, her apron outfit, her striped socks. Her down-to-earth attitude and her strange compassion for life.

After ten seconds had gone by, they all mentally focused their image into water. A moment or two passed, when it started to bubble. Ignoring the sounds, they tried to enhance their thoughts to direct them to where the girl who was not Alice was now.

Even though there were no doors or windows open, everyone in the room felt a slight breeze coming from everywhere in the room. It tussled Julius's hair, flicked Elliot's rabbit ears, fluttered Vivaldi's dress. The breeze flew across their faces, and with a _plop_, twisted its way into the elixir.

A blue mist rose from the surface of the liquid and then rapidly started changing colors. From blue to red, purple, green, orange, pink, yellow, white, black. The mist seemed to sparkle before their eyes, reminding those with their eyes open of fireworks. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

In the middle of the mist hovered a faint shadow of a clock. The room was so quiet that the Roleholders swore they could hear each ticking sound it made.

_Tick._

_Tick._

_Tick._

A scent filled the room, alongside the sound, which would change the odor to pine leaves, cotton candy, fire, rain, flowers and more.

But it had disappeared just as fast as it came. Now the mist was gone; however, the scent lingered for a few more minutes. Once it had evaporated, those around the pool sleepily opened their eyes.

At first, no one knew what they were looking at. They still thought the "trick" was going on, but then they realized that there was something moving in the pool. Blurry images were being reflected on top of the pool's surface, but not of the inside of the tower. Just like a telescope, the images start getting clearer. The rest of the Roleholders stepped quickly to the side of the pool, with Dee and Dum kneeling to get a closer look. What they saw amazed them.

The image finally settled on a indoors scene. There was a room, with a bunch of desks all lined up in columns and rows. The color scheme seemed to be gray, and there were teenagers all sitting at each individual desk, looking to the front where an adult stood, talking about the combinations of different chemistry laws. Some students were furiously writing their notes; others were either looking out the window or sleeping or gossiping with their neighbors. The reflection on the water, however, focused on one student in particular.

She was one of the few students who were writing notes and paying attention to the teacher. She was leaning over her notebook, writing mechanically what the teacher had on the board. Every few seconds, her brown eyes would flicker from the board and back to her paper. Half of her face was covered by straight black hair, which threatened to fall down each time she would push it to the side to see what was on her paper. Her small stature was emphasized by her feet not touching the ground, unlike those around her. She looked childlike in her plaid skirt and grey shirt.

_That's her... _Boris thought.

"Oooh, so cute!" rang through the air. Vivaldi's eyes were wide open, with her hands clasped to her face. Enchantment was spelled across her face. "What an adorable little child!" She squealed.

"I- wh- is this really her?" Elliot stuttered, not believing that the blond haired, blue eyed girl was the same as this girl. He was thinking how delicate she looked, how easy it would be to break her just on accident.

Nightmare nodded. "That is her. It seems that she was the one that Peter pulled into Wonderland." Questioning eyes turned towards him. "She's giving off the same aura," he explained.

"Aw, look at the lady! She's tiny! Hey, brother, do you think we could play with her?" Dee asked excitedly. Play... with their deadly toys.

Blood merely raised his eyebrows. Gray, on the other hand, had pink staining his cheeks; he could not resist small things. Gowland stroked his stubbly chin. Pierce's tail was wagging. "Chu~! So tiny," he cried.

White smiled, with a sigh that implied something else. "She looks like one of the children," referring to the kids who performed in the circus. He was used to the type. They were so easy to replace.

Peter just was bouncing up and down, with his ears flopping everywhere. "It's her! It's her! Waaa, my sweetheart is so cute! She'll look cute, no matter what she looks like!" Giddy as a schoolboy with a crush, the rabbit clapped his hands together, in no way resembling the cold Minister of Heart Castle.

"Haha, I wonder if her heart sounds the same," Ace said lightly. Julius glared at the knight standing next to him, who only grinned back.

The only one who still hadn't given any reaction to seeing the girl was her forgotten lover.

All he could do was stare into the image of the girl he thought he loved. The girl he thought he knew, but who turned out to be a complete and utter lie. He watched as a bell rang in the classroom, and all the students hurriedly stuffed their books and pencils into their backpacks. The dark haired girl was in no rush though. She was neatly putting her stuff away, when a male voice called for attention.

"Annie!" the boy cried out, appearing by her side. "Come on, I heard that Ms. J is letting us choose our seats but it'll be our assigned seats for the rest of the semester." The blond boy grabbed her wrist and made a dash for the door, with the girl left hanging onto her book bag with her other hand. To the surprise of the people from Wonderland, she made no protest, and so was dragged along with the youth. With a pause, everyone could see that the binder that hadn't made its way into her bag had her name on it in sky blue letters.

"Anjelica..." Boris whispered to himself. _Her name... is Anjelica. That's your name. _He sounded the name out to himself silently.

_And that person... is he your lover?_ he thought, with a sinking heart. His fingers clenched around his gun.

Even though she yelled at him, saying she hated him, that he didn't know her, that everything was just a lie, she wasn't really Alice, he wanted to shoot the guy holding her hand.

* * *

**I tried to rewrite the lines of the characters' many times in order to sound like themselves, but it ended up falling flat each time, or just plain OOC. If you could leave a comment or PM on how to improve, that'd be great. Otherwise, don't mind the stupidity.**

**Random thought: Does Wonderland have schools?**


	9. You've Changed

**A/N: Holy fudgeballs, I haven't updated in more than 8 months. I am SO sorry if anyone has been wondering about it. Not that anyone would be. I mean, it's been more than a year since I started, & I'm not even halfway done! Ugh. So to make up for it, I'll be updating quite more frequently (hopefully). I've got at least 3 more chapters written up, so that's good. I've been busy with life and other interests (including blogging & another fanfiction. Hehe.). So, without further ado, Chapter Nine!**

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**Chapter 9**

Once Anjelica got settled in her seat, her friend smiled. "We got good ones this time!" he cheered. They, or rather he, managed to snag the last pair of seats off to the side of the room. She blinked, and tonelessly replied "Yeah."

Ignoring her one word response, the guy kept on babbling about how much homework he has, and how he wish he didn't procrastinate so much. He only stopped when their teacher told them to take out a sheet of paper and a pencil; they were taking a pop quiz.

-.-

Walking out of the classroom like zombies, the students rubbed their eyes. "That was brutal," one kid said to his friend, commenting on their lecture. The other guy nodded and talked about their teacher, who they swore was a monster that needed to be locked up. Anjelica and the blond passed by them, heading their way down to lunch. They both sat down with the rest of their friends underneath the big oak tree, who were already chattering about something that their science teacher accidentally did, something to do with pants.

Anjelica's red headed friend made room for her, and asked her how her classes have been. She replied, "They're alright. Nothing special." Her friend nodded and smiled knowingly. Anjelica began to eat her lunch, pausing only when someone asked her a direct question. Other than that, it was silence coming from her.

As they finished up their lunch, some of the students laid back, relaxing before going back to class. Anjelica was still sitting, looking at the sky with glassy eyes.

Her friend with the blue shirt nudged her, drawing her back to earth. "Guess what?" her friend asked.

"What?"

"I got a date this Friday!" Blue Shirt squealed.

"Oh. Really?" Anjelica said, sounding disinterested. Her friend frowned for a quick second but it was gone in a flash.

-.-

Anjelica sighed and sat her bag on the ground, next to her dresser. School was just like any other day. Going to classroom to classroom to learn, sometimes unnecessary things, turning in papers, getting new papers in return. Nothing was different. Tedious kind of thing. Nothing was going to change about it. The daily routine was set in place too. Even the drive to school and from school was the same. It seemed like a never ending cycle. But she had to follow it. There was nothing else to do.

Flipping open her history book, she started to read the chapter that was assigned just this morning. It would not take her long to read, but then she had to write an outline along with it, and complete another worksheet that made sure students actually read the chapter and did not copy someone else's work. Her eyes skimmed the sentences, absorbing the information.

-.-

Without Anjelica, as she usually declined to hang out after school, the group of friends met up at the nearby burger place. They had all done their job for the day, and were read to talk about it.

"Alright, so we've all watched her all day long. Does anybody what in the world is different about Annie?" one friend asked, using her affectionate nickname. At first they hesitated, but nodded once they were sure of themselves.

The friend turned to the brown-eyed girl next to her, asking, "What do you think is different?" The chocolate eyes looked down for a moment, and looked back up, embarrassed at being put on the spot. "I think that... she doesn't smile anymore," she whispered, so quietly that the first friend could only hear the last word. "Oh, come on K, speak up a little louder please?" she asked the girl. Brown Eyes sat up a little straighter and said in normal voice, "Annie doesn't smile anymore." The girls exchanged glances, and some nodded in agreement.

"That's what I learned too," said the girl who was nervously scratching her orange nails. "Even in science class, she didn't smile _once. _She used to, because he tries so hard to be funny that it's hilarious! She wouldn't just smile either, she would crack up! But she doesn't anymore," she said sadly.

"I didn't notice that, but that's pretty important. I mean, that's who she is. I don't know how I could've missed that," said the one in the green jersey. "I noticed something else though. She finally got back her math test from the day before her 'incident', and she didn't freak out when she saw the F on her test. She usually does, for any class. But this time she didn't. I thought it was really strange."

"Oh, and also, when I offered her a cookie, she didn't take it!"

Some of the other girls nodded. "Definitely not like her. She'd flip out about something like that."

A silence followed. For a few minutes, everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Each one was contemplating what had happened to their friend. All the signs pointed to _something._ But they were not sure what it was.

"Hey," the brunette said, getting everyone's attention. "Maybe we're just overreacting. I mean, it's not that weird that she's not the way she was before. Maybe erasing someone's memories has some side effects. Or maybe it's just some side effects from traveling through worlds."

"Or maybe it's just because everyone was kind of acting weird in the beginning too. It might've freaked her out, just a bit. And now she's not acting like herself," said the other blond, trying to come up with a logical explanation. The others nodded.

They remembered when she came back, everyone was on their guard, and no one acted like themselves. People she never even knew approached her, and complimented her, secretly feeling sympathetic to her situation, with her looking on blankly, not having a clue what was going on. Others went out of their way to make sure that she was comfortable wherever she was, whether at the mall, where some of her friends dragged her the weekend after the incident, or at restaurants. Even at school she was treated differently. Of course she would put up her own wall. She would only be protecting herself.

The girl with the yellow shoes sighed, but with happiness. "We really were overreacting. There isn't anything wrong with her. But maybe we should act more natural." Green Jersey looked at her, and said, "Well, I think we're doing fine. It's everyone else who's acting weird."

"Um, no, we're acting just a bit weird too." Yellow Shoes complained.

"That's because we're already a bit weird, M."

"Oh, well, that's true... But-"

"NO BUT'S!"

"Hehe... butts."

*SLAP*

"Ow... you didn't need to hit me," Yellow Shoes complained, rubbing her head.

"Whatever," said Orange Nails, rolling her eyes. "I've gotta go and pick up my brother. See you guys tomorrow! And remember: act natural!"

~.

Back in the Clover Tower, the Roleholders were looking agitated. They had been there for at least three time zones, and they were tired. They were not tired of watching Anjelica's world yet though. All of them found it fascinating, even Julius, who was usually hard to convince to do something besides repairing the clocks. However, it had been a long time since they had even left the room, so in time, some people were exhausted.

"_She's rather boring,"_ Black complained. _"She's not fun at all. I'd have more fun back at the prison."_ White gently laughed; it still creeped everyone out when he did that.

Blood sat at a table they brought out while Anjelica had been watching a video in history class. Sipping his tea, he smiled. He knew that however she would act, she would fall under his spell in no time. But that is just the way he was. Blood Dupre, mafia boss. Seducing the hearts of women everywhere.

Boris sat in the same place he had hours before. He only ever moved his tail, or his ears at times. But his eyes were always concentrated on the figure away from him. He watched the motions she made, the words she said, everything. The cat was unable to tear his eyes away from the picture of the girl. Instead of blond, there was black. Instead of blue, there was brown. But somehow, he knew that it was really her. And at the same time, he knew that there was some connection between the Alice he knew and the stranger that stood before him.

Despite that, he knew there was something wrong with her at the same time. No, not a mental illness, or a disability. There was something missing. He could not put his finger on it, but it bugged him. Something about those empty eyes. He wanted to fill them.

He had watched as the girl said goodbye to the blond boy; he strangely felt relieved when he learned that they were just friends, and the guy acted friendly to everyone he met.

With a frown on his face, Boris had to remind himself that Alice- no, Anjelica, that was her name- was not his. Besides, she had said she hated him, and made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him. _So why am I watching her? I made sure she's okay. She's apparently back home. She's fine. But I'm still here._

A rustle came from the side. Elliot had lifted himself up from the floor he was laying on, and stretched and yawned. "I think I'll be heading back home now. I'm going to fall asleep if I don't, and I want to be in my own bed," he mumbled, his purple eyes closed halfway. Vivaldi got out of her chair, covering her own yawn with her red tipped hand.

"We are leaving," she tried to say in a dignified manner, but ended up sounding drowsy.

From the others came an agreement. Watching was fun and all, but it took a toll on them to be in the same place for so long. And so most of the Roleholders left the tower, one by one. Peter ended up dragging Ace behind him, knowing full well that the knight would get lost and would end up missing his responsibilities.

The only ones who were left were the residents of Clover Tower and Boris. Gray hesitated for a moment, and walked towards the cat. "Uh, Mr. Airay, everyone has left now. Don't you want to-"

"No."

The punk kid's reply was sharp. Gray glanced to his boss, who shrugged. Sighing, he headed back to the door where Nightmare stood. "He won't leave, whatever you'll say. He'd rather watch her. He's denying it, he just trying to make himself to believe that he wants to make sure she's okay, but we've been watching for about three timezones. So, I don't think it's that. He noticed something different about her, which I agree, but it might just be because she's an entirely different person," Nightmare said to his subordinate quietly.

"You might be right, Mr . Nightmare," Gray said. "But shouldn't we at least give him a blanket and a pillow when he falls asleep?"

"Maybe. And I think it's more like _if _he falls asleep. Only because," he added because of Gray's questioning face, "judging by his thoughts, he's too absorbed into the pool to pay attention to anything else. He barely took any food from earlier. If you gave him something you cooked, he probably would've eaten it and not notice anything, and if he's lucky, he'd live." Nightmare smirked at Gray's incompetence of creating pretty much anything.

At his comment, Gray stayed silent. Nightmare started to make his way back into the room with the pool, but was stopped by his employee. "What are you doing?" asked the older man.

"I'm going to make sure the Cheshire Cat isn't going to be lonely," said Nightmare, intrigued by his mind. _Very light-hearted and riddle loving. Add a broken heart, and you have a better meal than Gray could ever make. But that's not saying much,_ he thought. However, that was not his main point. It went more along the lines of...

"Mr. Nightmare, you aren't planning on skipping your workload, are you?" Gray asked.

"Haha, Gray, how could you say such a thing? I'm just being warm and kind-hearted by looking after someone," Nightmare nervously said, fidgeting. Oops. Nothing can get pass him. Nightmare dreaded the stacks of paper crowding his office. Despite being the Lord of Clover Tower, he was extremely lazy and sought any opportunity to avoid any work. Gray, on the other hand, was a workaholic only because he always had to keep up with Nightmare's workload.

"You are not going anywhere. Papers have piled up for three timezones and I didn't mind it if we were learning about things we needed to know. But now, it's back to work."

"What? No!" Nightmare flailed about, trying to get away from Gray. Gray shook his head and lead his boss to his office. The incubus's screams were heard throughout the tower, but from his position on the ground, the pink haired boy did not budge an inch.

_I wonder what you're thinking of,_ Boris wanted to ask her. And he was left pondering things he would have never thought of until she had walked out of his life.

~.

_Day 14_

_This manga series is so amazing! I got a couple of more volumes, and I love the characters. They're all so different, I want to meet them. But now I'm having second thoughts of Ace being my favorite... he seems too psychotic, but I guess being stuck in a role is pretty harsh. Still think he's a pretty cool guy, but I'd be on my guard around him. I can't really decide who I like the best right now. Actually, I'd love to be in Wonderland, if it wasn't for the fact that you could die, thanks to their daily sword/gun fights. But what if I could be Alice?_

_Mom and Dad have been yelling at me again. It's not my fault that I forgot to tell them about the paperwork for school pictures the day before. Oh, fine, it is my fault. I just haven't been able to concentrate lately. And I guess it was also my fault for not telling them about the dance too. I wish I wasn't so forgetful. And the fact that I keep forgetting my chores. It's scary to think that I'm supposed to be thinking about college. Can't I not grow up? I don't know, I feel just a bit empty. Really empty. Almost a doll._

_It doesn't help that I still feel pretty down. I have these ups and downs, like a roller-coaster. But I guess that comes with being a teen, right? Also comes with the oh-so-torturous love life, or lack of, in my case. I guess it brings me back to the Heart no Kuni manga, wishing all guys fell for me. But that would stink. I'd feel bad just refusing anyone. The guilt would haunt me._

_Well, it's getting late, and I still haven't finished my disgusting math homework. Bye!_

* * *

_**Once again, another apology for not updating in forever. OH and before I forget, I'm not giving any of Anjelica's friends or people of her world's names. Mostly because it's really unnecessary to have all these names bouncing around (for me at least). Think of them as the Nameless, but not the Faceless.**  
_


	10. Can't You Smile?

**Chapter 10**

She let out a sigh as she finished the last of the homework for that night. Anjelica noted that it was nearly seven p.m, almost dinner time, and then she would be able to whatever she wanted... if there was anything she wanted to do.

From her desk, she examined all of her possessions. The intricate designs of the fleur de lis covered her bedspread, and her lamp beside her bed was from a flea market spree. She had collected, over the years, so many books that the bookcase was simply overflowing with books, and many ended up on the ground, desk, or her dresser. If there was thing she had liked, it was reading.

Anjelica was very particular about her books; they were the few things she tried to keep organized. And so her bookshelves were alphabetized. However, there was an empty space on one of the shelves; a place for a certain series between the G manga books and the I manga books.

Her mother's voice called from downstairs. With a quick glance back at the bookshelf, she stood up and headed downstairs to dinner with her parents.

After discussing their day and eating dinner, the family headed their separate ways, her dad to his study, her mother to the living room, leaving Anjelica to her chore of cleaning up dinner. She did so in a mechanical manner,and she wiped down each plate and glass as clean as it could be. Soon she was able to finish washing the dishes, and once she made sure everything was clean, she went upstairs back to her bedroom.

She stood in the doorway, deciding that she needed to still get ready for sleep. She looked around and grabbed one of the new towels her mother had folded for her. She turned the doorknob and walked out in the hallway, going towards the bathroom which was one door away.

Anjelica set the towel on the towel rack besides the shower, and turned on the shower. Almost immediately, the mirrors started to fog up from the warm water coming out of the shower head.

.~.

Blushing, Boris turned away from the pool. He was not about to be peep on a girl. Especially one like that. Okay, so he was a perverted guy, but he knew where to draw the line at being caring and being a Peeping Tom. Although, watching a girl for this long _is_ a bit creepy...

He got up and stretched, feeling all of his joints crack after being in the same position for so long. The boy glanced about the room, empty except for him. Walking unsteadily because his legs turned numb, Boris managed to drag himself into one of the green plush chairs that had been brought. He wondered what he should do with his time; after all, he knew girls typically took a long time taking showers and getting ready.

His stomach growled, giving him the answer. With a couple of more stretches to get his blood flowing, Boris opened up the door of Clover Tower and walked outside, straight into the Amusement Park. Being the Cheshire Cat had its perks, such as being able to go anywhere in Wonderland with a door. However, it did not stop him from leisurely wandering around on foot. Sometimes, he preferred the scenery.

But at the moment, all he wanted was to eat. Smelling his favorite food (besides Pierce) he walked towards one of the food stands to grab something. With a fish on a stick, he wandered about the Amusement Park. Each ride he saw held memories of him and 'Alice'.

_There's the haunted house where she freaked out with the zombie popping out of nowhere. And there's the teacup coaster ride we rode with Julius. His face turned blue, that was hilarious. Oh, the go-karts! She got so scared on those. Mostly because I remodeled them. And drove them out of the park, _he remembered with a grimace. _Twice._

_Then there's the roller coaster that the old man took us on, and she fainted once we took the drop. She scared me then. I just wanted to cheer her up, not scar her for life. Stupid old man._

He sighed. _I know you're okay. I shouldn't be worried about anything. _But there was something still bothering him. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something majorly different with the girl. Even though he did not know her personally, or even at all until just a while ago, there was something... _wrong. _Boris wanted to know what it was. To him, it was like a riddle he wanted to solve. But it was also because he really was concerned with the girl.

_What's so different about you? _he asked her in his mind._ Of course you'll be different than the 'Alice' you were. You already looked different. Almost complete opposites,_ he added._ You're so much smaller too. But you don't seem to be really interested in anything. It's almost... it's almost like you're a robot. _

Recalling her fixed routine, only interrupted by her environment, the people surrounding her. _You don't enjoy much, _he thought sadly. _You don't even smile. _His eyebrows scrunched together as he frowned. He noticed this minor detail throughout her day. Her friends had attempted to make her to laugh at whatever they said or did, but all she did was stare. Not a single giggle.

He remembered the one time she had met him, Dee, and Dum coming from the direction of the Hatter's Mansion, and she looked upset. Seeing her trying to cover it up, he tried to cheer her up with a riddle. And seeing her smile was worth it. He liked her best when she smiled, after all. (He was a bit cold to Blood and Elliot after that incident.)

Lost in his thoughts, Boris did not notice when he wandered off the grounds and into the forest surrounding all territories. It was not until he smelled something delicious that he snapped back to reality.

"Pierce~ where are you?" he slyly asked the air. He knew that the mouse was somewhere in there. He heard a squeak come from the left side, and so he sidled to the bush he heard it coming from. "Pierce~ I just want to play," he said, faking a pout for no one to see. "Why don't you want to play?"

More rustling came from the bush, and something that sounded like whimpering. "Alright, I think I'll just take a break then, if you don't want to play. I'll just take a nap on this bush then," he grinned as he fell on the bush.

The dormouse scrambled out from under the bush and started running for his life. "Rat, come back here!" Boris yelled after the rodent. Looks like it is going to be a while until he gets back to the tower.

* * *

**A/N: Blah blah blah, usual excuse of not updating... especially if there's anyone still reading it after a whole year . Only reason why I remembered to update was some reviews (psst thanks btw). The next IHH chapter should be out within two weeks. This here is a filler chapter, more plot directed in the next one. Anyway, hope you're having a great day!**


	11. Must Be Normal

**Chapter 11**

The next morning found Anjelica walking through the arch of the school. She walked up to her friends, just like every day. Everyone was excitedly talking about how it was the end of the week and their plans. Her blond friend asked her what she was doing for the weekend.

"Oh, nothing really," she replied. "Really? Then come over to my place tomorrow! I never see you anymore," said her friend. "And I really want to show you this new game I got, it's so cool!"

"Oh, okay then." Anjelica nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a plan," she added.

Her friend tilted her head, wondering if she should have said anything at all. But remembering to act natural, she kept on going with her plans. But the bell rang, and everyone went to their separate classrooms.

Finally, after a few more subjects rolled around, it was lunchtime. The blond, ginger, and Anjelica all headed back towards the courtyard to eat. Everything went along as normal. Nothing was out of the ordinary. And so the rest of the day went.

Entering her science class, Anjelica had been asked the equation to the hypothetical chemistry problem, and while responding, she stared straight ahead, emotionless. The teacher gave her an odd look, but went on ahead with the lesson.

.~.

After school, Anjelica's mother decided to check up on her daughter. She knew she probably would be busy on her laptop, or talking to one of her friends, or maybe even reading a book. The woman knew that her daughter had been starting her homework as soon as she got home, so she should be done with any work by now. Taking a step to open the door, she peered around to see her daughter.

She was sitting at the end of her bed, staring at the opposite wall, hands folded flat on her stomach. She stared blankly. Eyes empty, full of nothing. Nothing showed on her face to give away what she was thinking of. And this frightened the mother. Her daughter's face used to be an open book, revealing every single emotion she felt. But she shook herself; Anjelica is probably just daydreaming, she told herself. No need to worry.

The mother took a deep breath to calm herself down, and opened the door wider, allowing the girl to realize she was there. Anjelica's head turned toward the squeak of the door, and raised her body up into a sitting position. Her mother smiled at her daughter, her own brown eyes trying so hard to twinkle.

"Hey, honey, just checking up on you, if you were done with your homework," she said. The girl nodded. "Yes, I'm done."

"Oh, alright," her mother said. Her curiosity piqued, and she asked how long she's been done. Anjelica replied, "An hour."

The woman's expression was incredulous. She certainly has been able to get more work done now, she thought. "Okay, sweetie. Just wanted to know. Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes." Her mother turned to close the door, then hesitated. Looking back at her daughter, who was watching her disinterestedly, she asked one more question.

"What were you thinking before I came in?" was the question, hoping that the answer would spark some emotion.

"Nothing."

.~.

_(Flashback from journal)_

_Day 33_

_It's no good, I failed my math test. Thank goodness my parents won't know about this. But it's so hard! I always make stupid little mistakes that cost me a lot. That happens to me a lot, actually. Urgh. And Mom gave me another lecture about what I'm going to do about the future. I'm sorry, but that's something I honestly have no idea about. But I'm getting older, so it's kind of a problem. I'll figure it out eventually... right? I don't know, I'm just a bit scared._

_On a brighter note, I found out that the Heart no Kuni manga was actually based on a computer game! Well, technically, it's more like a visual novel. So you can go different 'routes' and pick a character you want to end up with. I love it! It's supposed to be a bit dark but I don't mind it, it makes it interesting. At least what I've seen of it. I have yet to install it, mostly because it's annoying that everything is in Japanese. Which I can't read. Fooey. Well, hopefully the Internet will help me. I would love to do Boris's route. I've figured that even though I really love all of the characters, I've got a soft spot for him._

_A couple of my friends managed to snag a boyfriend in the last week. They're adorable together, but I can't help but feel a tad lonely when I see them together. But my time will come. In about 20 years. Or never. I'll just be the old cat lady. Or dog lady. I like dogs more than cats. They're less prone to biting and scratching me. Anyway, I'll write later!_

.~.

Now the sun had gone down, and dinner was finished. Anjelica was about to get ready for bed when she remembered she promised her friend to go to her house the next day. Deciding that it was better to ask permission now, she aimed for the door to her parent's bedroom. She gripped the doorknob when she heard her mother say in a hushed voice, "But don't tell anyone."

Anjelica debated on whether she should enter the room; obviously her mom was going to say something that she was not supposed to hear. She took a step backward when the voices from beyond the door became louder.

"I know, I know, it might just be something left over from what happened. It shouldn't take that long-" her father tried to tell his wife, but she interrupted him.

"But that's the problem! It's been almost three weeks! Shouldn't it have been gone by now? And don't you tell me that you haven't noticed either!" her mother's voice started to sound frantic.

"Well, with things like this, it could take a while to settle back to normal, and of course I noticed. I didn't want you to worry," Anjelica's father tried to say while calming down her mother.

Anjelica could hear her mother starting to cry. "Of course I would notice! I'm her mother! I should know these things... I just... I just wish things were back to the way they were. When she had so many different emotions on her face. When she would actually talk to us without us having to ask her something. When she would smile so much I thought her cheeks would freeze that way," she choked back a sob. Her next words were muffled, as if she pressed her face into the shoulder of her husband.

After a few seconds, she sounded more clear. "I want her to be back to the way she was." Her husband murmured quietly, "I know, darling. I do too."

Anjelica stared at the door, unsure what had just happened. She remembered that she probably should not have listened onto their conversation, and walked back to her bedroom.

Closing the door, she quickly crossed her room to her bed and sat down.

Are they unsatisfied with me? she wondered. I need to be more like what they said. Apparently I am so different from before my fainting. I need to fix this. Otherwise, they will not be appeased by my actions. The gears started to churn in her head.

So I must be like what I was before. She searched her memory, trying to find out how she was before._ Hm. I was a very happy person, and I made people smile. Procrastinating was something I was really good at; so was creating abstract ideas. I had liked to eat sweets as well. __I used to have a smile on my face all the time in public__._

Anjelica got up and looked at herself in the floor length mirror. Staring right back at her was a girl, petite in size, with long black hair. Wearing jeans and a tee shirt, she would look comfortable, except for the fact that there was an emotionless face looking right back at her. There was not a frown, not a smile, but just simply no emotion showing on her face.

Smiling... you turn up the sides of your mouth. I know that. She attempted to smile, but it did not look right to her. The girl appeared to be completely fake, and she knew it._ Maybe if I show my teeth, it will look better._ She let her lips separate, and the result looked more natural._ Different emotions... I remember them. There is anger, happiness, and sadness. _She paused. She knew the other emotions, and she can remember there were times that she had felt them. But she could not remember how she felt. Glancing over at her laptop, she decided to look up all the emotions to try to imitate them..

.~.

_So I wasn't the only one who noticed it_, Boris thought as he gazed through the water at the girl. He had heard her parent's conversation as well._ And now she knows it too. But what is she doing? Why does she need to look these things up? And practice them? Don't they just come naturally? Is it different from my world? _ The cat was puzzled.

_Or has she been all this way her whole life? No, wait, that can't be right, because her mother said that she used to be really happy and stuff. So, she really isn't this emotionless? What happened?_

He thought about the way she acted. She seems like a robot. With no interest in anything. Boris realized that practicing the different emotions are the first thing that she had done without being asked to since he started watching over her. _She's almost lifeless._

_.~._

Not being able to visit her friend because her family had already made plans for that day gave Anjelica time to practice for a couple of days. She devoted much of her time to that, other than eating and sleeping, so she could be perfect. She searched every nook and cranny of the Internet to find out the infinite amount of ways to express any type of expression. And when Monday rolled around again, her friends got a pleasant surprise.

"Hihi!" the smiling girl said as she bounced up to the group. "How's it going?" she questioned them, putting her hands in her jeans and leaning forward, grinning.

Shock showed on everyone's face, until one brunette recovered her senses and said hello right back. Anjelica twisted around to ask the blond how her weekend went, apologizing for not being able to visit. Gradually, everyone started chattering but the same thing was going through their heads, even though their mouths weren't.

Babbling excitedly about the upcoming carnival, Anjelica practically skipped towards her next class. Most of her friends stared at the back of her, wondering what had changed. They held back, wanting to gossip about the difference in their friend.

"Do you think that she's back to normal?" one asked, caught in between relief and doubt.

The girl wearing a blue shirt shrugged and said, "Maybe. Because maybe she doesn't have the side effect anymore." She thought about it for a couple of seconds, and added, "If that was the issue."

Nodding her head, the brunette said, "Or maybe everything seems more normal now. I don't know, but it's a good thing, right?"

A murmur of assent went through them. They all thought it was nice to see her smiling again, but they wondered what on earth had made her return back to normal. Anjelica stood in the door of her science classroom. She observed everyone hanging about the room, waiting for the bell to ring. She let a smile take place on her face, and she bounded over to her seatmate.

"Hey B! What's up? How was your weekend? Did you go to the beach like you said you would? Or did you have a boring weekend like me? Oh and how's your puppy? Did you name it anything?" B gave a jolt at the outburst of her petite classmate. She wasn't used to her talking so much. Or so fast that her words seemed to run together. It's been almost a month since she heard anything like it.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I actually went to the beach with..." she continued, answering all of the girl's questions. Anjelica was looking at her with eager eyes, soaking up every word she said, and then start to joke around with her.

The rest of Anjelica's classmates glanced at each other. "What happened?" some whispered to each other, while others simply pointed at her and raised their eyebrow. Most shrugged back, saying that they had no idea.

Math class, she had a couple of mistakes on a quiz that raised a couple of eyebrows, but nevertheless seemed like her usual self. She lightly complained about her marks, but listened intently on what she had gotten wrong. Once her teacher was done explaining, she nodded and looked quickly at her paper, and looked back up to the teacher. "Oh, okay, I get it! Thank you!" she let him know with a cheerful smile.

And so the day went on. While eating lunch, Anjelica would gossip with all of the other girls about how one of the art teachers had gained quite a bit of weight, leading them to think that she was pregnant. She would giggle and laugh at their jokes, teasing them about their quirks. She even managed to trip on her way to the trashcan, and gained a couple of scratches on her hands.

"Look guys, I've got battle scars!" she gleefully showed her friends, splaying out her palms like a proud little girl.

The ginger laughed and said, "Good job, Annie. What is your next challenge? Is it flying a plane? Or is it becoming a fashion designer?" The dark haired girl tilted her head and looked up to the sky, as if she was thinking. A grin crept across her face. She eyed the cupcake next to the red head, and slyly inched her way over.

"Hm, I don't know. I think it might be involve eating. Eating something delicious. Maybe like... a cookie... or a pie. Or maybe even a chocolate bar! Or, hey, it might even be... this!" she said, grabbing the cupcake and dashing away with it.

"Hey, I was going to eat that!" the red head exclaimed, clambering out of her spot and trying to catch the girl before she ate it. Anjelica teased her with the sweet, and dodged out of the way each time her friend came too close to her. With this friendly play, anyone looking would have thought that Anjelica was having the time of her life.

But no one noticed that even when she smiled, it didn't quite reach her eyes.

* * *

**I suck at keeping up my fanfics. I should just ban myself from them. Also, sucky chapter is sucky and also filler but also plotwise important. But honestly, BLESS YOUR HEARTS FOR STILL FOLLOWING & REVIEWING. I've got about 2-3 more chapters written, and then I really have to buckle down on finishing this story (because I will!) Also, next chapter should be up within the week with pretty soon with only the Wonderland residents (rejoice!)**


	12. A Time Before

**Chapter 12**

Leaning on his elbows, Boris peered into the pool of elixir to watch Anjelica prance around with her friends. _What are you doing? Stop pretending!_ he wanted to yell at her, but it wouldn't be any use. She couldn't hear him. She didn't even know that she was being watched by a boy with cat ears in a world different from hers. Frustrated, he rubbed the temples of his head, not noticing that the door had clicked open, nor the two boys sneaking into the room. They tip-toed their way across the floor, careful to not make a single sound. Dee eyed the tail that was furiously whipping itself back and forth, and once they were close enough, he lunged for it, while his brother tackled Boris.

"Nyaaaaa!" the cat yelled, trying to shove the twins off of him and away from his tail. "Leggooooo! For the last time, you can't have my tail!" he groaned, his face thrown onto the ground. He felt his boa being tied around his wrists and was roughly yanked up onto the twin's shoulders.

"Sorry Boris. We can't let you stay in here forever," Dum said in a deep voice. They had transformed into their adult forms in the seconds Boris couldn't see them. "It's boring without you," complained Dee, looking back at the punk teen.

"Yeah, plus Nightmare begged us to get you out of the tower. He was tired of hearing your thoughts each time he came close to you. He says you depress him or something." Dee added as an afterthought, "It was something like that, but he was busy trying to sneak away from Gray, so he was trying to be quiet."

Boris stopped struggling and asked incredulously, "Wait, you actually listened to him? He doesn't even pay you!"

Both of them shrugged their shoulders, causing Boris to shift his weight. "Well, he kind of promised us some new toys if we did what we were asked," Dum said. Dee nodded and said, "Mhm! And they're supposed to be real shiny."

_Unbelievable. They were bribed. Successfully_, Boris thought. "Well, okay then... where are you taking me?" he asked, curiosity leaking into his voice. They were headed through the front doors of the tower, and stepped out into the warm evening air.

"We don't know yet," they said in unison. "But we were thinking we could try out one of our new toys with you. But then Nightmare said try to not let you get killed, so he might take them back," Dee said, with Dum interrupting and saying, "Well, we know it'll be Gray who'll take them away. Maybe we can try them out on him?"

"Uh..." Boris could not come up with a response.

"But we might let you go, if you give us that," Dum said, pointing to Boris's striped boa. Glaring at the guy, he refused to give it up. "I think I'll keep it and deal with whatever you have up your sleeves."

"Alright, Boris. Just remember that you said we could whatever we want," they both said.

Off they went, marching into the woods separating all the territories. Once they arrived at the Hatter's residence, Dee and Dum unloaded Boris from their backs and set him against their couch. By now, they transformed back into their child forms.

"What do you have in store for me?" the cat asked the twins. They glanced at each other and shrugged once more.

"Actually, we have no idea. All we knew we were supposed to get you out of Clover Tower, whatever it took," the boy in blue said. His twin nodded and said, "Mhm, but we do know we want to play. What do you think brother?"

Dum was in the middle of thinking when the door was slammed open, with Elliot stomping his way into the room. "Where are you brats? Sneaking off while you're on duty!"

"Stupid rabbit, we're taking a break!" one of them yelled. The hare's face turned red, with his ears twitching. "I AM NOT A RABBIT!" He immediately yanked his gun out of its holster to threaten the twins. In retaliation, the twins pulled out their axes and started charging towards Elliot. The March Hare blocked Dee's hit and slid out from under the head of Dum's axe, trying to defend himself. Boris sat on the ground for a few seconds, watching the three go at it, and started to get up to join the chaos, when the Mad Hatter strode into the room and looked back and forth from the twins and the hare. Sighing, he turned to Boris, who froze in the half standing/half crouching position, to ask him what was going on.

"Oh you know, the usual. Dee and Dum called Number Two a rabbit," the Cheshire cat said, his eyes on the fight.

"Ah, of course. Why would it be anything else," the mafia leader muttered to himself. Raising his voice, he said, "Elliot, I want you to stop. Now. And boys, if you fight anymore, I will severely cut your earnings."

The twins stepped back from the hare and frowned, pouting. "Aw, that's not fair! We don't want 'em cut."

Elliot froze when he heard Blood's voice, turning around to find him. "Blood! These kids weren't at their post! I was only trying to tell them to get back to work!"

"Hey, hare, the incubus told us to bring out Boris. It's a good enough reason for us," said the boy in red. Blood raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. The bagworm gave you a job? I just might have to have a talk with him." He smirked.

"Elliot, let them go for now. Whatever that incubus wanted he will get." The mafia boss rubbed his head, exhausted by his household. "And I want you to get me some of my tea."

The March Hare's ears perked up. "Alright Blood! I'll bring some of my carrot biscuits to go with it too!"

Blood's face turned blue, weakly smiling. "Er, actually, I think I'll pass on those." He inched his way towards the door. "Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be in my study." He paused. And please, no one need me." With those last words, he dashed off to his room. Right on his footsteps was his second-in-command, who was shouting that he should eat something. The three boys were once again left alone in the Bloody Twins's room. Boris grinned.

"It's never boring with Elliot around."

"Stupid hare, always bothering us. Even more than usual," Dee muttered, still looking at the door. "At least he's with Boss now."

"Mhm, annoying rabbit. Let's go somewhere else then." Dum straightened up, turning towards the window. "Boss will probably stay in his room for a long time now. He's been gone from the mansion a lot lately, just wandering around"

"But where do we go?" Dee was puzzled. They had strict orders to stay away from Clover Tower, and they had visited the Amusement Park just the last timezone. Annoying Joker would be a fantastic idea, if they wanted to be thrown into a cell. It was a tempting idea, but nevertheless, one that they wanted to avoid. That left only one place.

"Brother, how about Heart's Castle?" Dum asked. Dee nodded excitedly, with a spark in his eyes.

"Good idea brother! Maybe we can play a game with the guards there! Whaddya say Boris?" Dee turned around. No response.

"Uh... Boris?"

The cat was fast asleep, slumped over the couch, with his upper body lying on the cushions and his lower body hanging off the arms of the couch. He breathed in deeply, eyes closed, boa hanging off of his back. The tail was resting against his legs, falling onto the floor. The twins had glanced at each other. Time to play Catch the Tail.

"It could be our new treasure," whispered Dee to his brother who nodded in agreement. They had aways coveted the cat's pierced tail. It was just so fascinating to them. Both boys took small steps towards the cat. When they were a few inches away from it, they leaned forward to grab with their hands and-

"Touch my tail and you guys are dead," the voice from the cushions said. The twins frowned. "Aw, but Boris, why not?"

"Because I said so," came the reply.

"You're no fun. Come on brother, we can have more fun playing with the Castle's guards." The boys in red and blue left the room, anticipating some adventures and victories. The cat was left slumped over the couch, once again asleep. The fact was that he was exhausted. He hadn't slept for a while, and it was taking a toll on him. To be staring at a reflection in a pool was not healthy, and it had shown. Usually, he would be wandering about Wonderland, finding his own adventures to waste his time. But all he's been doing was watching over his... his...

_What are you to me? You aren't my lover; you hate me. You're not even my friend, for the same reason. So why is it that I want to watch over you? And really, what are you to me? In the past, you would blush and try to come up with something if I said we were lovers. I miss it._

_I miss you._

Boris's thoughts took a turn as he fell into a deep sleep. It was a dream that Nightmare wouldn't appear in.

.~.

_"Boris! Where are we going?" The blond asked him as he pulled her along. He glanced back, grinning._

_"Hold on, we'll get there soon," he assured her. They were going through the forest, beyond the Amusement Park. He could sense her apprehension, for she had never been in this part of Wonderland before. "You'll like it."_

_"Eh, okay..." She was intrigued. Boris always found the best spots for anything. _

_He managed to make everything special, just for her. Alice always thought she was being too spoiled, and by a cat, no less. She was not used to being fawned over like this because of her treatment in her original world. Only by her elder sister, no one else. __Boris soon came to a stop, with Alice bumping into him._

_"Oof! Sorry. Why are we stopping?" She peered around his back. "Oh." __In their way was a log. A large, fat log, twice as tall as the two teens. It didn't help that Alice could not see where it started or where it ended. It was an old tree, with tons of bark peeling off and moss growing everywhere._

_"Ah, looks like we can't go wherever we were going," she said, genuinely disappointed. Boris glanced at her face, chuckling._

_"Come on Alice, a log isn't going to stop us!" With that, he started to quickly climb up the log. Alice watched him, hiding a smile. Whose to say that he isn't a cat? she asked herself. Certainly, with his limber body and his tail swaying back and forth, he seemed very catlike._

_"Alice, I'm waiting." He was on top of the log already. The girl frowned._

_"But I can't climb that!" she complained. "You might be able to, but I'm not a cat." She eyed the few footholds in the log. "I honestly have no idea how you did that."_

_Boris rolled his eyes. "You don't need to be a cat to climb. Where did you hear that?" He smiled, beckoning to Alice. "Here, just give me your hands and I'll help." He slid onto his stomach on the log, holding out his hands. The girl sighed and looked up into the cat's eyes._

_"I won't let go, I promise."_

_She hesitated. "Alright." Alice took one gloved hand and put her foot on a stub of a branch. Gingerly, she pulled herself up. With the next step, Boris hoisted her up onto the top of the giant log._

_"See? That was nothing." The cat grinned. He spun around to face the other direction. Boris jumped off of the log nimbly while Alice looked on with alarm. Landing on his feet, Boris turned back to see the blond's amused face. _

_He definitely is a cat, she thought. __Boris tilted his head, wondering what she was thinking about. He motioned for her to come down, but she shook her head._

_"It's higher up here than I thought. I can't land on my feet like you," she protested._

_"Well, just slide down then." Boris was usually patient with her, but he was anxious to show Alice what he had found._

_"But then I'll get splinters!" It really wasn't her fault for complaining so much. She was always such a cautious girl. __He thought about it for a second, and then he lifted his arms._

_"Fine. Jump in my arms then. I'll catch you," he smiled. She raised her eyebrows._

_"Are you sure?" She was a bit scared. Something could go wrong, since things normally did not work out the way she planned. _

_"Alice, we don't have all day. Just a little jump, that's it." Boris tried convincing her. "If not, I might just leave you there." __She sighed, thinking that he wasn't the type of person to just leave, yet she still was worried. The girl leaned forward, to see where she would land, when her foot slipped on the peeling bark and she fell down, screaming._

_"Waaa!"_

_She closed her eyes, waiting to feel the solid impact of the ground, but it never came. Instead, she felt herself hanging in there, suspended by a pair of arms. __She took a peek with one of her blue eyes. Boris looked down at her, laughing. She tried to sit upright, only to find herself being held bridal-style._

_"Ah, thank you... You can put me down now." Alice was flustered, evident by the red blooming across her face._

_"Nah, I don't think so," Boris teased, "I think it's easier if I just carried you."_

_"Huh? Wait, no!" Alice struggled to get out of his arms, but Boris held her tightly, nuzzling her hair._

_"Mmm, you smell awesome." The cat inhaled deeply. It was an addicting sweet smell. He slid his head down so that his mouth was on her neck. With just a few licks, Alice was squirming in his arms._

_"Ahh, Boris?" she mumbled._

_"What?"_

_The girl sighed. "If you're going to carry me, can we at least go now?" She knew that in seconds, his own smell would be overwhelming her and she would fall into a haze._

_"If you say so." Boris started walking as Alice crossed her arms. Going through the forest was a peaceful event. Boris had actually stayed silent, much to Alice's surprise. After a while, it felt uncomfortable, so she switched her arms to be holding Boris's neck. She couldn't see Boris blush at the intimacy of her action, but she could feel the boa tickle her nose._

_"Boris, how much more longer is it?" she asked the cat. _

_Boris replied with, "Actually, we'll be there in a just a few." Just a few what? Alice asked herself. A few seconds? Minutes? Hours? I would say days, but that's more of what Ace would do._

_Boris finally came to a stop and glanced at her._

_"We're here," he smiled as the blond gasped, taking in the scenery. _

_They were standing on a protruding rock overlooking a sparkling blue lake, with the rich green forest surround it. Alice could hear the river's playful bubbling tumble into the large body of water. She peered down, only to see that it was so clear that she could see the bottom. Where fish should be, there were birds, flapping/swimming their way through the water. Flashes of white and yellow dotted the birds, and Alice looked on with wonderment._

Birds as fish. Now that is a ridiculous concept. But I guess since there's the land fish that Boris loves so much, there has to be water birds too,_ she mused._ But how do they breathe? I can never get used to this world,_ she sighed inwardly._

_"So, what do you think?" Boris wanted to know. _

_Alice hugged his neck, saying, "It's so beautiful! Thank you for showing it to me!" It was a moment that drew Alice out of her usual cynical self and Boris mentally patted himself on the back. He gazed at her, causing her to blush red._

_"Well, let's go explore!" Boris tugged on her dress, and ran away, letting her chase him._

_.~._

Boris shifted in his sleep as the twins ran back in to grab a few toys.

.~.

_Day 82_

_What am I even doing with myself? Right now? In the future? My last year in high school is going to be coming up soon... I can't believe time is going by so fast. I just want to kind of pause things for a moment. But that's how I kind of feel... like I'm stuck at this one point and all my friends are speeding off to their own futures. I don't know, it's just seems so surreal. Sometimes, I feel like I'm blacking out, like I'm missing something important. Or maybe it's just all those late night I'm spending on the internet. I really need to limit my time on there._

_Oh, and I've gotten the second game of that Heart no Kuni no Alice game! It's called Clover no Kuni no Alice. Julius and Gowland are gone and there are new characters like Pierce Villiers and Gray Ringmarc. They seem pretty interesting! But I'm working on Boris's route (of course!) It's pretty interesting... Alice is so torn up about her sister... it'd be kind of funny to be her. You know, with two sisters. Sort of._

_Ah, well, got to go to school! Don't know why I felt like writing, but I feel a little better now. Just a bit._

* * *

**I wrote this, hm, about a year ago? Maybe two? It's really weird, going back and rereading these things. Oh, yes, I just want to say thank you for the reviews again. I never know if I should reply to them or not, and by the time I remember, it's been three months and it's just weird. But I really do appreciate it all. Especially since they kind of serve as reminders for me (oops).**

**On another note, I got my Cheshire Cat Waltz Volume 2 and alsdk;jf Boris is so cute. And another thing, I'm just going to upload the dream as an oneshot, because it's alright on its own. Working on In Hollywood Hearts... it's going great... yeah I'm just babbling at this point.**


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